The fall I took in the parking lot that day ended up being far worse than I first realized. Like most of us, I told myself that it was just a bad fall. But by that first night of agony, it became pretty obvious that something was wrong. After quietly sneaking out of the house in the dim morning light, and NOT asking for help (sound familiar), I made my way to the emergency room of our local hospital. I had torn two meniscuses in my knee. If any of you have experienced this injury, you know that it is extremely painful – and it is more far reaching than one might realize.
Much to my initial chagrin, I was going to have to put aside my fierce independence and my fear and ask for help. I had gotten banged up, I was in pain, I couldn’t get around, and I needed help. This really forced me to ask the universe why was this happening. What were my lessons here? And to ask my body what it really needed? As I teach and know firsthand, the answers will ALWAYS (and I MEAN ALWAYS) come to us. Whether we care to hear them is a different story. So the answers came flooding to me (and are still coming!). I needed to slow down and to hold onto one of my favorite mantras, “The slower I go, the faster I get.” I needed to pay better attention to my joints and to switch things out in my training program. You see, I push myself. I always have and always will (at some level), and yet the body and the soul definitely kick back when they have had enough.
Injuries are gentle ways for the body to say, ENOUGH! Slow down – you must. I cannot take it anymore. So here I am on February 3rd, 2 months post surgery, still limping and yet loving my knee back to health.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Falling Forward
Back in the Fall, on October 4th, 2008 to be exact, I was walking through a parking lot, excited to get home and head out to my dear friend Lisa's 50th Birthday party. The next thing I knew, WHAM, I was flying through the air. It was a bad fall – no kidding. To begin with, the shock of falling as an adult is awful. I sat there, badly scraped up and obviously hurt, and I held the space for the little girl inside of me and just cried for a few minutes.
As a body image mentor who has been working through old traumas for many years, I knew that it was vitally important to honor those feelings immediately, IN THE MOMENT. When we're able to do this, it saves us from having to backtrack and honor them later. But it's certainly not an easy accomplishment. Many people simply feel embarrassed or ashamed about "falling." As adults, we steal ourselves to stay composed in tough situations – much more than is realistic or healthy. We train ourselves not to be angry, or to laugh too loudly – and we certainly shouldn't sit in a parking lot after a bad fall and have a heartfelt cry.
So how did I learn to be in the moment and hold that space? Well, one way was revisiting events where I DIDN'T allow my true, healthy feelings to exist. Take a few minutes today and sit with pen and paper. What are some of those "bad falls" you've had – what were your TRUE feelings? Did you rob yourself to look strong while hurting on the inside? And what did you show the world around you, instead?
Post comments here -- I'd love to hear what you all have to say on this.
Laura Fenamore
CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.laurafenamore.com/
As a body image mentor who has been working through old traumas for many years, I knew that it was vitally important to honor those feelings immediately, IN THE MOMENT. When we're able to do this, it saves us from having to backtrack and honor them later. But it's certainly not an easy accomplishment. Many people simply feel embarrassed or ashamed about "falling." As adults, we steal ourselves to stay composed in tough situations – much more than is realistic or healthy. We train ourselves not to be angry, or to laugh too loudly – and we certainly shouldn't sit in a parking lot after a bad fall and have a heartfelt cry.
So how did I learn to be in the moment and hold that space? Well, one way was revisiting events where I DIDN'T allow my true, healthy feelings to exist. Take a few minutes today and sit with pen and paper. What are some of those "bad falls" you've had – what were your TRUE feelings? Did you rob yourself to look strong while hurting on the inside? And what did you show the world around you, instead?
Post comments here -- I'd love to hear what you all have to say on this.
Laura Fenamore
CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.laurafenamore.com/
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Oprah Winfrey – “Love” that Casts a Widening Pool of Light
Like most Americans, I spent the great part of last Tuesday glued to my television. The inauguration of our new president, Barack Obama, in the freezing temperatures was so many things, but cold simply wasn’t one of them. It was warm – it was inspiring, it was filled with hope, it was emotional. For me, one of the MOST moving moments though, was when Elizabeth Alexander read her poem, “Praise Song for the Day.” I think the reason that this poem moved me so much was that the question she offered – and the answer – were an unexpected twist. The poem started by inviting us to walk down the street, and it moved easily through everyday moments of life. It was just a normal snapshot, and then, it wasn’t. It was that question. One that is so totally in concert with how I live my life and what I’ve been sharing and writing about for the last twenty years.
What Elizabeth Alexander asked at the inauguration of Barack Obama was this:
“What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light.”
I am even moved again, the moment that I write this, because if the mightiest word is LOVE, then we will ALL know that ALL things truly are possible. If the mightiest word is love, then that love – turned INWARD – will truly create the change we are all looking for, one person at a time.
And this idea – this love turned inward – also answers a call I’ve been hearing a lot over the last few weeks. “ Oprah needs to hire you!” is what I keep hearing, through phone calls and emails. From the women who have taken my 12 week course and have worked with me. That statement probably seems silly to those who don’t know me. I mean, who wouldn’t want Oprah to call? Her platform and reputation are so strong that entire careers are made simply on her recommendation or nod of approval.
I have mastered what she is still struggling with – I’m a well known expert in my field, and my unique 20-year philosophy and tools around weight loss have built a great foundation for my career all on their own. So what is it? Why does everyone want to work with Oprah? The truth is, I think it’s that mighty love that Elizabeth Alexander wrote about and shared at the inauguration. Oprah Winfrey literally casts that mighty love and widening pool of light and so do I.
We all know people like this: Those who are not only undaunted by the hardships around them, but who seem uniquely armed to rise above them. Oprah Winfrey takes it one stop further, though, and like Barack Obama, she inspires others to do so also. She inspires others to cast a widening, mighty pool of light.
Like all of us, though, ironically Oprah struggles to turn that love INWARD. Like all of us, her to do list is too long, her responsibilities too many, and like many – her love flows OUTWARD. Many days, that widening pool leaves her in a shadow. And THAT is why she – and we – do not create PERMANENT CHANGE in our lives. Be it weight – or sex – or alcohol – or even success and work – we will not create the balance we need if we do not learn to create a widening pool of light that includes US. We MUST learn to create and to maintain a lifelong self-love and self-care that WILL sustain us EVERY DAY.
So there is our challenge. And I am ready, willing and able to cast my light and empower you with my "power" tools so that you CAN take control of your life, take control of what you weigh and have a healthy relationship to food!
Yes, as President Barack Obama has embraced, we ARE ready for a change – but that change MUST come from inside each of us. I created that change in my own life, and I continue to create it every day, because self-love and self-care are an every-day journey. As dieters and Oprah Winfrey discover over and over, WITHOUT those ingredients, it’s far too easy to reclaim those pounds we let go of.
And yes, friends, I do want Oprah to hire me, not because it would “make” my career – instead, it is because MY widening pool of light has inspired hundreds and thousands of men and women. Sharing the tools that I have learned over twenty years of maintaining a 100-pound weight loss has been my mission and an enormous privilege. And my vision is for these tools to reach millions. It will happen. The world needs my work.
The magic of Oprah? Well THAT is undeniable. But it isn’t what you might think – it isn’t the making or breaking of careers. Oprah has met and affected so much change in the world, and I believe that with my tools to create PERMANENT change, the course of obesity, food addiction, and eating disorders in this country will be shifted.
To YOUR Permanent Change,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
Laura@LauraFenamore
Read all my blogs at: http://www.BodyImageMastery.blogspot.com
What Elizabeth Alexander asked at the inauguration of Barack Obama was this:
“What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light.”
I am even moved again, the moment that I write this, because if the mightiest word is LOVE, then we will ALL know that ALL things truly are possible. If the mightiest word is love, then that love – turned INWARD – will truly create the change we are all looking for, one person at a time.
And this idea – this love turned inward – also answers a call I’ve been hearing a lot over the last few weeks. “ Oprah needs to hire you!” is what I keep hearing, through phone calls and emails. From the women who have taken my 12 week course and have worked with me. That statement probably seems silly to those who don’t know me. I mean, who wouldn’t want Oprah to call? Her platform and reputation are so strong that entire careers are made simply on her recommendation or nod of approval.
I have mastered what she is still struggling with – I’m a well known expert in my field, and my unique 20-year philosophy and tools around weight loss have built a great foundation for my career all on their own. So what is it? Why does everyone want to work with Oprah? The truth is, I think it’s that mighty love that Elizabeth Alexander wrote about and shared at the inauguration. Oprah Winfrey literally casts that mighty love and widening pool of light and so do I.
We all know people like this: Those who are not only undaunted by the hardships around them, but who seem uniquely armed to rise above them. Oprah Winfrey takes it one stop further, though, and like Barack Obama, she inspires others to do so also. She inspires others to cast a widening, mighty pool of light.
Like all of us, though, ironically Oprah struggles to turn that love INWARD. Like all of us, her to do list is too long, her responsibilities too many, and like many – her love flows OUTWARD. Many days, that widening pool leaves her in a shadow. And THAT is why she – and we – do not create PERMANENT CHANGE in our lives. Be it weight – or sex – or alcohol – or even success and work – we will not create the balance we need if we do not learn to create a widening pool of light that includes US. We MUST learn to create and to maintain a lifelong self-love and self-care that WILL sustain us EVERY DAY.
So there is our challenge. And I am ready, willing and able to cast my light and empower you with my "power" tools so that you CAN take control of your life, take control of what you weigh and have a healthy relationship to food!
Yes, as President Barack Obama has embraced, we ARE ready for a change – but that change MUST come from inside each of us. I created that change in my own life, and I continue to create it every day, because self-love and self-care are an every-day journey. As dieters and Oprah Winfrey discover over and over, WITHOUT those ingredients, it’s far too easy to reclaim those pounds we let go of.
And yes, friends, I do want Oprah to hire me, not because it would “make” my career – instead, it is because MY widening pool of light has inspired hundreds and thousands of men and women. Sharing the tools that I have learned over twenty years of maintaining a 100-pound weight loss has been my mission and an enormous privilege. And my vision is for these tools to reach millions. It will happen. The world needs my work.
The magic of Oprah? Well THAT is undeniable. But it isn’t what you might think – it isn’t the making or breaking of careers. Oprah has met and affected so much change in the world, and I believe that with my tools to create PERMANENT change, the course of obesity, food addiction, and eating disorders in this country will be shifted.
To YOUR Permanent Change,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
Laura@LauraFenamore
Read all my blogs at: http://www.BodyImageMastery.blogspot.com
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