Monday, July 28, 2008

Personal Sustainability - You are NOT Fat or Thin -- You are ENERGY

For many of us, losing weight has been the distracting focus of much of our lives. It has been our limiting, lying nemesis. Our mind says, IF ONLY I were thin . . . IF ONLY I could lose weight.

Ironically, the problem with this thought, from the very first moment, is that weight simply does not get lost. You can’t hide it under the bed and hope everyone forgets about it – or lose it in a closet full of old clothes that don’t fit; because the one who can’t forget – not for a second – is you. And worse, the thing you do risk forgetting is the vibrant, magnificent woman that you are and the incredible life that you are meant to have right now – at this very moment.

As women filled with self-love, the idea of “losing” weight must be bravely replaced with the larger truth … using weight.

Using weight. That is a truth you can wrap your head around and participate in. Instead of frantically waving a magic wand around your belly or rear-end and feeling like your own body’s victim, you can dance and plant a garden or do loving service for others. You can enjoy and love your precious, active life and refuse to be distracted with self-loathing ever again.

Think of your body as a bank. You have simply deposited extra energy that you are now ready (and more than willing) to lose. Each pound of extra weight is equal to 3,000 energy units (calories). Everything we eat and everything we do is simply energy in or out of our bank. Remember, also, the universe does not know “fat” or “thin” – it knows energy. Having stored energy in your body is not bad or good to the universe. It just is. Using that energy in creative, self-loving ways can be a beautiful exploration.

You can boldly strike out on a path and explore a life where living authentically simply means non-judgmentally embracing good health and using your energy in purposeful ways.

If you used to entertain a stream of thoughts such as: I don’t have time to walk today; I have too much work to do to work out; I’m too busy to eat a salad; I’m too fat to go to that event. You can consciously replace them with self-love, such as:

I have enough stored energy in my body to plant a phenomenal garden this summer.
I will use some of my stored energy to paint my house – and then my elderly neighbor’s too.
I am a beautiful expression of universal energy.
I will take in great, living foods that won’t add to my stored energy, but will heal my living body.

Whatever your limiting beliefs are about taking care of yourself, your body and your inner child, these are lies that you simply can’t afford to participate in any longer. Because in the end, it’s all energy, and hateful self-dialog can be as deadly as cancer – just ask anyone with a life-long eating disorder or deep depression. It may not be as easy as throwing a switch, but starting out with a loving awareness of the energy we put out, hold in, or hold onto our bodies is a very real foundation for change.

Your body’s very heartbeat and breath are part of the universe’s energy. Lovingly visualize the many creative, purposeful activities you can accomplish with your personal bank of stored energy. Allow yourself to choose a few longer projects that will lovingly “express” stored calories from your bank. Breathe deeply and brainstorm. Include expressions of loving service to others.

It’s your energy bank and YOUR life, spend it wisely.

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Master Mentor

http://www.laurafenamore.com/
Laura@LauraFenamore.com
415-464-1234

Monday, July 21, 2008

No Give Backs, No Trade In’s, No Kidding

There is no doubt that we live in a throw-away society today. Everywhere we look, we embrace the “out with the old, and in with the new” philosophy. Something breaks nowadays, and we don’t even think about calling the repairman – it’s somehow just easier to buy a new one. Even larger items, like cars, are replaced with abandon after only a few years.

Sadly, we seem to think that virtually everything can just be replaced and renewed with the snap of a finger. It doesn’t just kill our sustainability as a planet, it effects how we look at the very core of our existence. Don’t like your body? Well, get it botoxed – or lipo’d – or tucked – or otherwise molded into something that simply wasn’t the “you” that you knew only the day before.

What did we do before today’s craze for instant fixes? Well, to begin with, we lived with our imperfections. Take a look at the old “Charlie’s Angels” pictures – oddly enough, even the pin-up girls of yesteryear weren’t perfect.

We have simply lost something in translation over the last few decades, and in that, we’ve lost some of our personal responsibility to our personal sustainability. Bluntly, there are no trade-in’s on your body.

Your body is literally your HOME. You live in it from your first breath to your last. And believe me, the LAST thing that the mainstream diet and exercise industry wants you to do is the ONE thing you must do – love yourself and take care of that home. You see, if you really learned self-care and self-love, you wouldn’t need them any longer. Instead, they want you to BUY THE LIE that you aren’t even WORTH loving until you are slender and can run a seven-minute mile.

Well, slender and fit is an awesome goal – it means that we would no longer be eaten alive with insecurity and self-loathing about our bodies and our weight – and that we would live awesome lives of inspiration and meaning. But let’s face it, even slender people suffer from crippling poor body image (and there are plenty of full-figured people who seem to be fulfilled and successful). So where do we begin???

  • First, we need to trade-in the idea about “disposability” that we’ve made love to the last few years. This is your ONE body and your ONLY chance to be healthy and live long and strong.
  • Second, if that’s true, then we need to LOVE who we are RIGHT NOW. If we truly loved ourselves, we wouldn’t be eating our hearts out and stuffing our feelings every day.
  • Third, let the healing begin. Whatever you do, just REFUSE TO DO NOTHING.

On August 5th, I will begin a 12-week course entitled, Loving What You See in the Mirror (Crucial Components to Permanent Weight Loss). I am still interviewing potential participants to fill the last few spots still open. The first group started in June, and it has been spectacular. The women are dynamic and wonderful. They are calling forth permanent change, they are committed to their accountability partners, and they are embracing their own transformation.

Now maybe this course isn’t right for you, but whatever you do, just don’t give up. Although there really are no give backs or trade in’s, you can absolutely claim your right to a DO OVER and begin your new start (and love affair) with a healthy body any time you want to.

Laura Fenamore
Laura@LauraFenamore.com
www.LauraFenamore.com

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Breaking up is Hard to Do -- Saying Goodbye to Compulsive Eating

If you are currently on, or have ever seriously been on a journey to lose weight, one thing we can all agree on is that breaking up is not easy. Food becomes a lot more than pure nutrition throughout our lives. Let me outline some of the many roles food plays – we make it our friend, comforter, lover, mother, brother, enemy, etc., etc., none of which have anything to do with what food really is – energy.

The powerful questions are:
· What do we do now to create freedom and body image mastery?
· HOW do we take our power back?

In order to get to the heart of the matter – why we overeat or undereat – we need to put down the bat. Being our own worst critic doesn’t work; think about the mean words you sometimes use about your body. Those words hurt – and when we hurt, it’s sometimes tough not to eat.

What if, just for today, you throw away the criticism and the judgment – and no matter WHAT it takes, don’t pick it up. As you read this article, imagine what would fill your soul – enough so you would not need comfort food today.

This exercise starts with a strange direction, but trust me: Put on an outfit with pockets.

· Who can you turn to today to fill your need for companionship? Make a list of names with phone numbers for one pocket; remember to only fill the list with people who make you feel safe, loved, and filled with energy. If you find yourself obsessing about food or how you look, start calling down the list until you get a live person on the phone and courageously talk about your feelings. Fill your mouth with words and emotions.

· What could fill your spiritual needs today? A long walk? A trip to a church or temple? Try getting on your knees right this moment and tell the universe that you do not want to hurt yourself with food. Write down your own prayer – just a few lines, and put it in another pocket. [Later, if you feel compelled to eat in a way that is not self-loving, breath deeply and read the prayer 25 times. The compulsion may be washed away by the universe – and the time it takes to pray. Remember, most compulsions only last three minutes.]

· As you sit here, take a moment and breath very deeply. Fill another pocket with loving affirmations. (Download some at http://www.laurafenamore.com/. Sign up to receive them every day if you like.)

· Put a pen and paper in every empty pocket and talk to yourself on the page. Listen to yourself. Write about your relationship with food. Include your feelings and memories and the people in your life. Write to old “ghosts” and new dreams. Remember that your goal is to provide nourishment to your entire being today – body and SOUL. You can claim your power that fills you from head to toe, not from hand to mouth. Claim your true, brilliant space in this world and claim it TODAY. You are worth the effort.

You may have done many of these exercises before, and that’s great. DO them again. Today is a new day, and our relationship with food and our bodies is also new.

Try on a new story – it goes well with your pockets of possibilities.
Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Master Mentor

Monday, July 7, 2008

Independence Day

For me, every day is the Fourth of July. This isn’t because I love going to the beach, enjoying BBQ’s with friends, or any of the wonderful things we do on July 4th. It is ALL about my personal INDEPENDENCE. Every single day without compulsive eating, I get to declare my freedom from anything that doesn’t represent self-love and personal sustainability.

To begin with, I declare myself free from the hundred pounds I lost two decades ago. I am fit and fabulous because I claim my self-loving right to exist in a body that I love to live in.

Make no mistake, supporting that healthy body is all about supporting my mind. It means saying no to people who deplete my energy and wear down my spirit – and that means having to face the disapproval (or even rejection) of others when I don’t do what they want or need.

We must make tough choices in order to say “yes” to ourselves and prioritize the strong bodies and healthy lifestyles we truly want. It means that we cannot do everything that everyone wants every minute of every day. Rather, we will have to literally carve out a piece of our lives that belongs to no one but us. And if we have lived a life of self-deprecatory blindness to our own needs or dreams, it means that something will have to GO to make room for something new.

Here are some tools to making all of your days Independence Days:

· Start by making a list of everyone you see in a month – everyone. Ask yourself if they inspire and invigorate you or if they deplete your energy.
· Place a plus or minus next to their name (this has nothing to do with your love for them).
· Every day, spend more time and energy within those relationships that energize you.
· Start your day early, before everyone else awakens. Like all shifts, there will be a trade. It may mean ending your day without the 11pm news (a negative way to end a day anyway).
· Start your great day with inspiring reading (visit www.LauraFenamore.com/affirmations for a quick, positive message every day), and give yourself 30 minutes of movement.
· Plan your day and plan your food! Don’t get caught off guard and find yourself starving at 4pm after a day of running around for others. That is, quite literally, a recipe for disaster.

Remember what Thomas Jefferson said: “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.”

That is what we MUST embrace every day if we are to be strong and vibrant and self-loving. We literally have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

First LIFE. Claim your LIFE – literally. Make a list of what would support you to live one more healthy, beautiful day above ground.

Then LIBERTY. What would it mean to let go of your biggest burden, just for today? Can you get help with that burden and give yourself a break?

And finally, the pursuit of HAPPINESS. What would life need to look like to be truly happy right now? And if you can’t get to that picture right this moment, and you need to make a plan to get there, can you CHOOSE to be emotionally happy right now, as you begin the PURSUIT of that life?