Ringing in the New Year with a “New” Foundation – Self Love

Ringing in the New Year with a “New” Foundation – Self Love

As 2009 approaches us, I stand back and I count my many blessings. I especially, gratefully look at the health of my own mom. My mother is truly a miracle. She has overcome many things in this life, culminating in an aortic dissection at the beginning of 2008. (This is the same illness that ended John Ritter’s life.) And looking at my mom and her journey, I know that one of the few things we can count on in our lifetime is the unrelenting, march of time.

As we get ready to close out this year, we are invited to sit quietly and consider the year before – to reflect upon its triumphs, its joys, its sorrows and its struggles. Whatever regrets and whatever lessons you may have learned in 2008, each and every moment of it was a lesson, and if you let it be, a blessing. Our past can be what we choose. It can be wings, or it can be an unmovable weight that paralyzes us and holds us back.

By releasing 2008, we create a launching pad for everything that will come to us in 2009, and we set up a real opportunity to ring in THIS New Year with a plan for health and happiness. A plan – instead of the same old list of resolutions. So let’s take a quick minute and look at SOLUTIONS instead of re-solutions. Let’s look at the rough rocks of 2008 and turn every single one of them into the diamonds of 2009.

The #1 Resolution: Lose weight. While the number one thing on most people’s New Year’s resolution list is to lose weight, precious few of us are able to hold onto that objective for even 30 days. So what are we to do? What kind of a plan would change that goal to “gaining health” instead of losing weight? We know so much about health and weight in today’s world. In fact, we are inundated with information. So it certainly isn’t a lack of knowledge that holds us back.

Perhaps it is the simple idea of what we are “going” to do, instead of what we are DOING. What we are NOT doing is simple. We are not loving ourselves enough to eat right, exercise and set the right example for our families. We need to love ourselves so much. We need to create a deep shift to deeply love who we ARE and who we will be in the New Year. Think about that deep unconditional love you feel for your children, your significant other or a friend. And now turn that love onto yourself.

· Start each day with a commitment to yourself in service of the well being of others.

· Begin each day with a prayer and a request of the universe that you NOT FORGET that the foundation for every choice and decision is now to be on different footing – it is to be self-love.

· On a foundation built of self-love, we will choose healthy, positive people who support us.

· On a foundation of self-love, we will eat nourishing foods that energize us so that we may accept, vibrantly, all opportunities and all challenges.

· On a foundation of self-love, we will make courageous decisions that honor our deepest wishes and dreams.

And the truth is this: You can’t un-ring a bell. Once your base of self-love is proclaimed, it exists. Nothing you can do can un-create that foundation. Even a “slip” into old or unloving behavior will simply become an opportunity to release and to begin again. And be prepared, self-love becomes a beacon to those around you. It empowers us to make choices with our time and our resources in very different ways, and THAT is truly inspiring to the world at large. This year, put “Baby New Year” and all of his resolutions safely into the hands of Father Time and set the stage for your own life, renewed and reinvigorated with love at its helm.

I agree with the Beatles, wholeheartedly; they wrote and sang, “Love is all you need,” and I send you this message for this wonderful New Year, “Self-love is all you need”.

To your journey,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor

http://www.laurafenamore.com/

You’re So Skinny, I Hate You

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard the phrase, “You’re so skinny I hate you.” It’s an especially difficult phrase for me to hear, since I was once so fat that I felt nothing, if not hugely unlovable.

What does it mean when we utter that phrase to slender women – sometimes even total strangers? Does it mean we hate them? Is it supposed to be a compliment?

How could “hate” ever be a compliment?

What it really tries to impart, of course, is the idea of appreciation – wrapped up in something FAR less attractive – envy. Make no mistake, envy is NOT a compliment. It is not “appreciative.” If we take the greatest clarifying step, and apply the basic spiritual law that all things divide into either love or fear, then it is pretty easy to see that it simply isn’t love.

“You’re so skinny I hate you,” says that loud and clear.

So envy, thus, is fear. In this case, it is the fear that next to a slender woman, we simply do not measure up.

The most enlightening realization about this statement is when we open our hearts to see that the “hatred” is really directed inward – toward ourselves. It would be a far more useful discussion to say, “You’re so skinny that it makes me hate myself.”

On December 4th, Deepak Chopra posted a huge challenge to all who would listen on www.Intentblog.com. He posted an opportunity to commit to non-violence. Now, if that invitation leaves you thinking, “Sure, I won’t kick any old ladies or get into a back-alley knife fight,” then you need an education in what violence really is. What Deepak explains so beautifully is that violence toward ourselves is not okay either. Not at all. (Below is a short excerpt from the website.)

Q. What does nonviolence in thought and speech mean in everyday situations?
A. It means simply reminding yourself that you have made a commitment and that you have taken this vow. When the situation arises and your tendency is to be reactive, a simple reminder will often prevent you from generating a hostile reaction and by and by you will find yourself creating and calmer more creative response in subsequent situations.

If we commit to a truly non-violent life (or even try), we have to think about everything differently – how we eat, how we drive, what our thoughts are, and how we speak – especially to ourselves. Our language becomes SO much more honest when emotions, like envy, must be examined and omitted. And as Chopra expertly explains in this loving vow he extends to all of us, once we go to this committed place, we can never go back. It isn’t that we wouldn’t “slip” or re-engage in negative-self talk or envy, simply out of habit perhaps – but there is a simple law that things truly, inevitably, only move forward. Once the decision toward LOVE has been made, it cannot be unmade. The rest is just the journey to explore the decision, and in this case, what self-love would mean to us, body and soul.

So what are we to say, when we find ourselves standing next to a beautiful, slender woman – perhaps in what some think of as the scariest place in the world, a dressing room?

Perhaps we simply smile and say hello.

Yours in love,

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

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