For some, having a happy holiday may as well be called, “fat chance.” It seems that no matter how hard we work to insulate ourselves against the issues of our childhood and the home and family who reared us, the tunnel from Thanksgiving to New Years is a mine field loaded with hidden traps, double agents and slim chance of survival without self-destructing or ripping open old wounds and old injuries.
How are we to protect ourselves from harm and mental injury? Do we amputate our past and the people in it? Are we to avoid holidays and celebrations altogether? Perhaps, but at what cost? These are your holidays, and if managed carefully, YOU can create new traditions of love and family.
You DO bring the most wonderful ingredient to that new recipe, after all. That would be YOU!
Your holiday season can look however you want it to. You can bring a healing and vibrant heart and rock solid self-love.
So what is next? And what will your roadmap look like this season of Peace and Love?
As a Body Image Mentor, if I were to offer only two tools to use to build a beautiful, magical holiday this year, they would be support and planning.
Tip #1 = Support Support, Support and more Support. Do you get the picture? Remember, you are building a new experience with the holidays – one where food will not be a double agent – appearing as comfort and haven, but underneath only offering guilt, shame, and blame.
Your new building needs strong supports. It needs a long list of like-minded travelers who will listen, laugh and help you through the rough moments. If you can literally bring one of those people with you to events and places that feel more like combat zones than “home,” that would be terrific. If that’s not possible, perhaps there’s one person at home who does support you. Let them be your oasis. Do not focus on those with whom you must "work” to earn approval or love. Stick with your support person, no matter what.
Before the holidays even begin, start to talk about your fears and your pitfalls with others who walk the same path. Finally, remember that there is an endless stream of love and a strong foundation running through our Earth, through our universe, through every cell of your body. You are a precious child of this life force, and all the support you need is present if you find yourself feeling isolated, or even abandoned, in rough enemy territory.
Tip #2 = Planning Okay, here’s where the real work starts. First of all, plan your food. PLANNING IS POWER. Call ahead, ask what will be served. Bring something you feel good about eating that is in your plan just in case nothing at the party or event works for you. You are not a victim of anything that you choose to do, or any place you choose to go. Do not put yourself at risk to binge, purge or starve. This is the most basic and self-loving action you can embrace.
Next, have an escape hatch and get-out-of-jail free card, even if it’s only for a few minutes. (A loving exit strategy is your highest goal, of course). Have a vehicle or a rescue squad at the ready. Remember, one person might let you down, but a squad, well now you’re talking!
At the very least, feel free to step away from an uncomfortable situation and call someone you feel safe talking to. Keep calling people to reach someone on the other end of the phone. People want to connect with other people and often we are helping the person we are calling just as much as they are helping us. Go to a nearby quiet café haven to retreat, if things get crazy. You can always retire to a quiet room (I have been known to hang out in bathrooms or closets, wherever I can get quiet space), and pray or read some centering affirmations or a spiritual book. Remember food for the soul is what will sustain and nurture you.
These are the basics. They are only the basics. They are the absolute minimum that all of us should consider and achieve if we plan to truly enjoy our holidays for 2008. And why not? The Earth is revolving, and we will not see these days again. By filling our two hands with these two tools, we will find ourselves empowered to keep the food in its right place. A place of healthy sustenance. To fuel us from one beautiful day to the next, creating a lifetime of holidays and celebrations strung together on the golden threads of self-love, self-care, service and camaraderie.
Here is what I want for you.
On January 1st, 2009, I want you to look back at Holiday Season 2008 and say, “This holiday season was like no other!” It was the best holiday season ever because I stood up for myself and for my needs; I followed my heart, said “no” when I needed to, and took better care of myself than ever before. I did things differently this past holiday season, and as uncomfortable as it was for me at times, I did it anyway. I enter this new year feeling freer and better about myself.
That is what I want for you.
I invite you to get started now!
In health,
Laura Fenamore, CPCCBody Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
www.BodyImageMastery.blogspot.com
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment