Ringing in the New Year with a “New” Foundation – Self Love

Ringing in the New Year with a “New” Foundation – Self Love

As 2009 approaches us, I stand back and I count my many blessings. I especially, gratefully look at the health of my own mom. My mother is truly a miracle. She has overcome many things in this life, culminating in an aortic dissection at the beginning of 2008. (This is the same illness that ended John Ritter’s life.) And looking at my mom and her journey, I know that one of the few things we can count on in our lifetime is the unrelenting, march of time.

As we get ready to close out this year, we are invited to sit quietly and consider the year before – to reflect upon its triumphs, its joys, its sorrows and its struggles. Whatever regrets and whatever lessons you may have learned in 2008, each and every moment of it was a lesson, and if you let it be, a blessing. Our past can be what we choose. It can be wings, or it can be an unmovable weight that paralyzes us and holds us back.

By releasing 2008, we create a launching pad for everything that will come to us in 2009, and we set up a real opportunity to ring in THIS New Year with a plan for health and happiness. A plan – instead of the same old list of resolutions. So let’s take a quick minute and look at SOLUTIONS instead of re-solutions. Let’s look at the rough rocks of 2008 and turn every single one of them into the diamonds of 2009.

The #1 Resolution: Lose weight. While the number one thing on most people’s New Year’s resolution list is to lose weight, precious few of us are able to hold onto that objective for even 30 days. So what are we to do? What kind of a plan would change that goal to “gaining health” instead of losing weight? We know so much about health and weight in today’s world. In fact, we are inundated with information. So it certainly isn’t a lack of knowledge that holds us back.

Perhaps it is the simple idea of what we are “going” to do, instead of what we are DOING. What we are NOT doing is simple. We are not loving ourselves enough to eat right, exercise and set the right example for our families. We need to love ourselves so much. We need to create a deep shift to deeply love who we ARE and who we will be in the New Year. Think about that deep unconditional love you feel for your children, your significant other or a friend. And now turn that love onto yourself.

· Start each day with a commitment to yourself in service of the well being of others.

· Begin each day with a prayer and a request of the universe that you NOT FORGET that the foundation for every choice and decision is now to be on different footing – it is to be self-love.

· On a foundation built of self-love, we will choose healthy, positive people who support us.

· On a foundation of self-love, we will eat nourishing foods that energize us so that we may accept, vibrantly, all opportunities and all challenges.

· On a foundation of self-love, we will make courageous decisions that honor our deepest wishes and dreams.

And the truth is this: You can’t un-ring a bell. Once your base of self-love is proclaimed, it exists. Nothing you can do can un-create that foundation. Even a “slip” into old or unloving behavior will simply become an opportunity to release and to begin again. And be prepared, self-love becomes a beacon to those around you. It empowers us to make choices with our time and our resources in very different ways, and THAT is truly inspiring to the world at large. This year, put “Baby New Year” and all of his resolutions safely into the hands of Father Time and set the stage for your own life, renewed and reinvigorated with love at its helm.

I agree with the Beatles, wholeheartedly; they wrote and sang, “Love is all you need,” and I send you this message for this wonderful New Year, “Self-love is all you need”.

To your journey,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor

http://www.laurafenamore.com/

You’re So Skinny, I Hate You

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard the phrase, “You’re so skinny I hate you.” It’s an especially difficult phrase for me to hear, since I was once so fat that I felt nothing, if not hugely unlovable.

What does it mean when we utter that phrase to slender women – sometimes even total strangers? Does it mean we hate them? Is it supposed to be a compliment?

How could “hate” ever be a compliment?

What it really tries to impart, of course, is the idea of appreciation – wrapped up in something FAR less attractive – envy. Make no mistake, envy is NOT a compliment. It is not “appreciative.” If we take the greatest clarifying step, and apply the basic spiritual law that all things divide into either love or fear, then it is pretty easy to see that it simply isn’t love.

“You’re so skinny I hate you,” says that loud and clear.

So envy, thus, is fear. In this case, it is the fear that next to a slender woman, we simply do not measure up.

The most enlightening realization about this statement is when we open our hearts to see that the “hatred” is really directed inward – toward ourselves. It would be a far more useful discussion to say, “You’re so skinny that it makes me hate myself.”

On December 4th, Deepak Chopra posted a huge challenge to all who would listen on www.Intentblog.com. He posted an opportunity to commit to non-violence. Now, if that invitation leaves you thinking, “Sure, I won’t kick any old ladies or get into a back-alley knife fight,” then you need an education in what violence really is. What Deepak explains so beautifully is that violence toward ourselves is not okay either. Not at all. (Below is a short excerpt from the website.)

Q. What does nonviolence in thought and speech mean in everyday situations?
A. It means simply reminding yourself that you have made a commitment and that you have taken this vow. When the situation arises and your tendency is to be reactive, a simple reminder will often prevent you from generating a hostile reaction and by and by you will find yourself creating and calmer more creative response in subsequent situations.

If we commit to a truly non-violent life (or even try), we have to think about everything differently – how we eat, how we drive, what our thoughts are, and how we speak – especially to ourselves. Our language becomes SO much more honest when emotions, like envy, must be examined and omitted. And as Chopra expertly explains in this loving vow he extends to all of us, once we go to this committed place, we can never go back. It isn’t that we wouldn’t “slip” or re-engage in negative-self talk or envy, simply out of habit perhaps – but there is a simple law that things truly, inevitably, only move forward. Once the decision toward LOVE has been made, it cannot be unmade. The rest is just the journey to explore the decision, and in this case, what self-love would mean to us, body and soul.

So what are we to say, when we find ourselves standing next to a beautiful, slender woman – perhaps in what some think of as the scariest place in the world, a dressing room?

Perhaps we simply smile and say hello.

Yours in love,

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

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The 1-2-3 / ABC’s of Childhood Obesity Dissecting A Big Fat Problem

Recently, one of my clients called me -- she was hugely upset. Her eight-year-old daughter was being tested for diabetes. And while my client (and her spouse) have struggled with their weight for years, the IDEA that their little girl might be overweight AND SICK was horrifying. As I mentored her through the discussion, and helped her to see that she wasn't paralyzed -- she finally felt safe enough to admit that her daughter was twenty-three pounds overweight.

If you Google childhood obesity, you literally get 2,360,000 hits. It’s obvious that we put a huge amount of effort into looking at this issue, but how effective are we, when the numbers just go up and up, year after year? Let’s step back and dissect this issue in three very real and useful ways – the problem, the effects (bullying, self-esteem and overall health) and the solution.

#1 The Problem: Quite simply, our kids eat the wrong food and don’t move enough to use it up. When we consider everyday additives, like high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) though, they’re behind the eight ball from the beginning. HFCS not only adds an inordinate amount of calories for a product with NO nutritional upside, it also creates the phenomenon of craving – setting up even our littlest kids to binge eat. (See Childhood Obesity Basics, By Vincent Iannelli, M.D., About.com November 30, 2008)

Another part of the problem? Definitely fast food. Let’s face it, busy parents are often doing all they can to make ends meet and provide loving homes, so what harm is there if McDonald’s is the once (or twice) a week treat? Well, one problem is that we need to at LEAST stop calling it a treat. Call it a standby – call it, “uh oh, we’re in a jam,” call it fast-food Friday, but don’t call it a treat. An apple is a treat. Peanut Butter on wheat thins is a treat. Learning to re-language our discussions around food is vitally important to creating healthier families.

#2 The Effects: The sad truth is this: Our kids are getting bigger and bigger, while their self-esteem plummets. As a body image mastery mentor, I truly believe that we are all perfect and on a life journey to love ourselves from the inside out! But that journey is profoundly easier when we are HEALTHY. Imagine a child too heavy to run and play – too burdened by low self-esteem to enjoy their childhood. As any overweight adult can tell you, the heaviest burden is definitely not the pounds.

#3 The Solution: Okay, obviously the solution needs to be far more reaching than can be addressed in one article. But let’s just consider the basics – what we can implement right now.

a) MOVE. Move every single day. Move in a dedicated, disciplined way WITH your kids. The message is simple. We eat everyday and we move EVERY day. We change our clothes, we brush our teeth, we go to school, and we MOVE. And make it as fun as you can. Walk. Throw the heavy ball. Ride a bike. Dance. Even cleaning their room can be a fun exercise if you do it together (and have the added benefit of a clean room!).

b) Kick fast food to the curb. No exceptions. Instead, create alternative quick menu choices WITH your kids. A quick Google search will net you many, many healthy, kid-friendly recipes (homemade fat-free grilled cheese on whole wheat anybody?).

c) Most importantly, be sure to address your child’s weight from the outside in – AND the inside out. Weight is math. It is not a statement of value. Your kid is valuable and beautiful – those things are not up for debate. HEALTHY is your goal. From the “inside out,” be sure that there isn’t an emotional piece to your child’s weight.

Are they eating compulsively? Are they being teased?

d) Definitely ask for help on this one – their school guidance counselor might be a great place to start. There’s probably even a support group right in your area just for kids (check your local gym and hospital).

Remember, no matter what you do, the worst thing you can do is NOTHING. Our kids are our most vital natural resource, starting them out HEALTHY and FIT is the very least we can do.

Yours in Health,

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
415 464 1234

Click here for more information and to read the Surgeon General’s Call to Action regarding childhood obesity.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Fairest of Them All? 3 Steps Toward Home

When we ask that childhood question, most of us do not stand there confident that the answer will be us – if only that were so. For most of us, the mirror game actually gets harder and harder as we age. Our reflection seems to mock us at every chance, like some twisted fun-house image, making us far too aware of every pound, every wrinkle, and every gray hair. We are our own committee of critics, and if we’re not careful, the negative self-talk can be endless.

This holiday season, give yourself a gift. First of all, get honest. What do you say to yourself when you stand in front of the mirror? Give it a try. (if you are not looking into mirrors at all, it is time to start NOW)

Spend a minute there – naked if you can. Instead of doing what you may have done before – which is be heavy and critical of what you look like, stand there for thirty seconds and just appreciate your own light, and your beautiful body.

You are gorgeous. The only reason your mind tells you otherwise is because of societal standards and norms which are not based in science or truth. In order to change your external reflection, (if that is what you want to do) you must see yourself as gorgeous NOW. You have to love who we are right this moment, in order to get to where you want to be and then stay there.

Take an inventory of your thoughts as you stand there. When negative messages come up? Simply notice them and listen without fueling them with more criticism. It’s amazing how this exercise can take on a life of its own, if you do it regularly over time. Get a journal and do this for the next 30 days.

Step 1: Stand. If facing the mirror bare feels too vulnerable at first, start this process fully clothed and slowly peel away clothes as you feel more powerful in your body. It will happen. Just by facing yourself in the mirror you will begin to see how powerful it is to be in your beautiful body. Begin a mental and physical gratitude list. You are whole and alive. You can effect change right NOW.

Step 2: Listen. Next, celebrate all the great things you have to say to yourself. Write those thoughts down and any other supportive, self-loving statements that enter your mind. Practice saying those thoughts out loud. For instance, “I am healthy, my legs are muscular and strong,” or, “My eyes shine with love and compassionate, knowing I have overcome much in my life.” Try simply saying, “I love you,” to your own reflection (include your name after “I love you”.)

Step 3: Look. When you are able to stand there with your own reflection without hurtful negativity or endless reproach, then take an honest inventory. Are you tired? Do you wish you body were firmer? Are you overweight? Remember, these are not reasons to chastise yourself, but instead, opportunities to inspire healthy change. Does your posture show someone proud, or does it show someone who needs to create pride. Do you see someone who practices self-care – or do you see someone who needs to reevaluate her priorities and make more time for her body and her deep, inherent beauty?

We are in the season of light, and it is time to literally shed light on your body. Physical light, as well as lightness of heart and spirit. What we often learn in our mirror exercise is that we are heavy with burdens that go way beyond the obvious. Heavy with memories. Heavy with judgment. If we aren’t careful and aware, we can get so weighed down during this season of giving, that we forget to give to ourselves at all. What we need, right now, is to lighten our load.

If you do not like WHAT you see in the mirror, you CAN change. You can create a new routine from the inside out. A routine that begins with loving thoughts – with patience and self-care. A day-to-day effort that gives your body the right energy (food choices) and the right opportunities to USE its energy (movement). This simple equation CAN become a part of your daily life, right now. It can be YOUR holiday gift to you. In fact, if you start right this moment, what you see in the mirror may actually change by New Year’s Day. Yes, your body responds THAT quickly to healthy and self-loving inspiration on every level.

So stand, listen, look and love. After all, you’re the only YOU you’ve got!

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
Laura@LauraFenamore.com

Eat Drink and Be… A Big Fat Drunk

Although an important goal my goal in life is to avoid offending others, after I lost 100 pounds 20 plus years ago, I found a button in a novelty store in San Francisco that read, “Eat Drink and Be A Big Fat Drunk.” I wore it with pride for many years after that every holiday season.

The button cracked me up.

Mostly because it embodied humor AND a sense of personal responsibility – something that I really related to, then and now. It was also a reminder to me about where I’d come from and where I never wanted to see again.

In addition to suffering from food addiction, I had been a practicing alcoholic for many years. I began excessively drinking when I was in 7th grade. Like most addicts, I felt that alcohol freed me from my pain. For me, it did this in a way that food never could, and it empowered me to do crazy and often destructive things I never would have done otherwise.

It was also killing me in so many ways. It destroyed my self esteem, helped me hide from who I was. I was in two car accidents before I finally got sober – thankfully I survived without hurting anyone. Gratefully, all of that changed, and I was able to stop acting out with alcohol, food and other addictions – and able to lose 100 pounds through that process of healing.

The holidays are a time of year when so many of us act out with food, alcohol and other addictions, hoping to escape the pain of being with family or feeling alone (or being alone with family…take your pick.) It does not have to be that way though. And that I know for sure.
You can Eat Drink and Be Merry with moderation and learn how to deal with feelings that you want to suppress, forget or numb. Let's face it many people still choose to numb out and replace the “merry” part with big, fat, and I will add "unhappy" drunk...

You get to make different choices today. First of all, you can do whatever you want around the holidays. You do NOT have to do what others expect of you. This is your life, and your responsibilities to others simply don’t work if they’re killing you. And, quite simply, anything that isn’t building you up is definitely tearing you down.

Secondly, you have the choice to take people, places, and even the holidays themselves in SMALL doses. You can go late and leave early – thus creating a scenario where you can enjoy your Great Aunt May and your brother-in-law Barney for a few minutes, but leave when the fur starts flying. Be sure to set an exit with a few well-placed sentences to the host, “Mom, I can’t wait to see you on Thanksgiving, but remember I’ll need to leave early to meet up with my friends from work.” A great exit strategy will ultimately serve everyone.

The bottom line is this: Holidays aren’t easy. They are loaded with “fairy princess” expectations from childhood. You know, the “happily ever after” stuff that we all know doesn’t exist. We are fed visions of sugar plums and presents from early on, and we struggle year after year when that doesn’t materialize. We wonder if we’re doing it wrong. I’m here to assure you that you aren’t. Building a celebration around what works for YOU and what you need is perfectly okay and just might keep you solidly centered on what really fulfills you.

Feed your soul with people and places and things you love this season and write me and tell me how much better that feels from holidays past!

If you have questions about how to create this “personal celebration” call me at 415-464-1234.

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
415 464 1234

Thanksgiving Message - Three Simple Truths Worth Knowing

Here are three simple truths that can change your life – your body – and your health. You might think the order should be body, health and life, right? Nope. That’s why most people can’t lose weigh or then gain it back. We’ve got the order wrong. So start with these simple truths:

1. You are not a failure.
2. It is never too late.
3. You can learn to love yourself enough to change FOR GOOD.

Number 1. The most important part of my mission to empower others to create healthy bodies from the inside out is that it begins on the inside, not the outside. In order to support that this holiday, I want to tell you that you are not a failure. No matter what your weight, your body, or your body image, you are simply not a failure based on what you did or didn’t do yesterday.

Number 2. What you get, right now, is the opportunity to not fail YOURSELF today.

It is never too late. You can make ONE change today that can, like a string of dominoes, change every day that’s headed toward you. What that one change might be is huge. Will you sign up for a course to help empower you? Will you create life-changing support? Will you visit websites to create healthy meal plans for you and your family? Will you take a walk for 10 minutes? You can choose to NOT fail today. Even if it’s half over – start your day right now, right this moment because every moment is an opportunity for a new beginning.

Number 3. You can learn to love yourself enough to change – so learn this one thing, right now: Food is not love or comfort. Food can be comforting and nurturing however, it will never cure your soul sickness. It will never fill what you really need. Although it might feel that way, believe me, I know first hand, it is not true. Food is energy, and that’s it. It is a consumable fuel source that sustains our bodies. And how well the engine works depends primarily on what fuel we provide. If we shovel in sugar, they’ll still run, but wow – what a price to pay. If we offer our bodies, fruits and vegetables and healthy proteins and whole grains, well, you will FEEL the difference in only a few days – or even hours.

Number 3 Continued! While food is NOT love and comfort, mealtimes CAN be. You can create rituals of love and comfort at your meals. In fact, the word companion literally means “to break bread with.” Who do you invite to your table every day? Are you setting a beautiful table and eating lovingly prepared meals? Are you TOO BUSY to create this expression of self-love? Because this is NOT a luxury. For centuries, mealtime was a staple of healthy bodies and healthy families. We ate together. Meals were a cherished event.

So when you go to this Thanksgiving’s meal with friends and family, I wish for you one thing: to stop and look around. Do you feel the love at that meal? Is it the food, or is it the people? Is it the setting? Can you smell the LOVE? Because I’m betting you can. Now, can you allow yourself to create this, in some small way, every day? Because THAT is a 1-2-3 great start.

I am grateful for YOU in my life, and if you need a helping hand getting started or over the rough spots, give me a call at 415 464 1234.

Laura Fenamore
CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

Fat Chance – Two Tips to Navigating Tricky Holiday Horrors for Food Addicts

For some, having a happy holiday may as well be called, “fat chance.” It seems that no matter how hard we work to insulate ourselves against the issues of our childhood and the home and family who reared us, the tunnel from Thanksgiving to New Years is a mine field loaded with hidden traps, double agents and slim chance of survival without self-destructing or ripping open old wounds and old injuries.

How are we to protect ourselves from harm and mental injury? Do we amputate our past and the people in it? Are we to avoid holidays and celebrations altogether? Perhaps, but at what cost? These are your holidays, and if managed carefully, YOU can create new traditions of love and family.

You DO bring the most wonderful ingredient to that new recipe, after all. That would be YOU!

Your holiday season can look however you want it to. You can bring a healing and vibrant heart and rock solid self-love.

So what is next? And what will your roadmap look like this season of Peace and Love?

As a Body Image Mentor, if I were to offer only two tools to use to build a beautiful, magical holiday this year, they would be support and planning.

Tip #1 = Support Support, Support and more Support. Do you get the picture? Remember, you are building a new experience with the holidays – one where food will not be a double agent – appearing as comfort and haven, but underneath only offering guilt, shame, and blame.

Your new building needs strong supports. It needs a long list of like-minded travelers who will listen, laugh and help you through the rough moments. If you can literally bring one of those people with you to events and places that feel more like combat zones than “home,” that would be terrific. If that’s not possible, perhaps there’s one person at home who does support you. Let them be your oasis. Do not focus on those with whom you must "work” to earn approval or love. Stick with your support person, no matter what.

Before the holidays even begin, start to talk about your fears and your pitfalls with others who walk the same path. Finally, remember that there is an endless stream of love and a strong foundation running through our Earth, through our universe, through every cell of your body. You are a precious child of this life force, and all the support you need is present if you find yourself feeling isolated, or even abandoned, in rough enemy territory.

Tip #2 = Planning Okay, here’s where the real work starts. First of all, plan your food. PLANNING IS POWER. Call ahead, ask what will be served. Bring something you feel good about eating that is in your plan just in case nothing at the party or event works for you. You are not a victim of anything that you choose to do, or any place you choose to go. Do not put yourself at risk to binge, purge or starve. This is the most basic and self-loving action you can embrace.

Next, have an escape hatch and get-out-of-jail free card, even if it’s only for a few minutes. (A loving exit strategy is your highest goal, of course). Have a vehicle or a rescue squad at the ready. Remember, one person might let you down, but a squad, well now you’re talking!

At the very least, feel free to step away from an uncomfortable situation and call someone you feel safe talking to. Keep calling people to reach someone on the other end of the phone. People want to connect with other people and often we are helping the person we are calling just as much as they are helping us. Go to a nearby quiet café haven to retreat, if things get crazy. You can always retire to a quiet room (I have been known to hang out in bathrooms or closets, wherever I can get quiet space), and pray or read some centering affirmations or a spiritual book. Remember food for the soul is what will sustain and nurture you.

These are the basics. They are only the basics. They are the absolute minimum that all of us should consider and achieve if we plan to truly enjoy our holidays for 2008. And why not? The Earth is revolving, and we will not see these days again. By filling our two hands with these two tools, we will find ourselves empowered to keep the food in its right place. A place of healthy sustenance. To fuel us from one beautiful day to the next, creating a lifetime of holidays and celebrations strung together on the golden threads of self-love, self-care, service and camaraderie.

Here is what I want for you.

On January 1st, 2009, I want you to look back at Holiday Season 2008 and say, “This holiday season was like no other!” It was the best holiday season ever because I stood up for myself and for my needs; I followed my heart, said “no” when I needed to, and took better care of myself than ever before. I did things differently this past holiday season, and as uncomfortable as it was for me at times, I did it anyway. I enter this new year feeling freer and better about myself.

That is what I want for you.

I invite you to get started now!

In health,

Laura Fenamore, CPCCBody Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

www.BodyImageMastery.blogspot.com

What’s more painful than chronic pain? Three Simple Steps To Self-Care

What’s more painful than chronic physical pain? The pain that lives inside, that’s what. Can you imagine being 100 pounds overweight and living with all of the stares, comments and agony that goes along with that? The inability to buy a beautiful dress, or the fear that now goes with flying on an airplane? Now can you imagine losing that weight, and still coming up short? Still feeling, deep inside, that you were not good enough. Never believing, for more than a few moments at a time, that you were beautiful and valuable.

Those are the every-day feelings that attach themselves to thousands and thousands of men and women who suffer from eating disorders – even after they recover. Even after they lose the weight, the inside agony continues. We fill the overweight person with Cinderella dreams of becoming a swan, after feeling like the ugly duckling for so many years. Who remembers that television show devoted to makeovers named “The Swan.” The sad thing is that all the nose jobs, liposuction and hair weaves can’t heal a broken body image.

I know first hand being in agony both fat and thin. And I am happy to report that today I have freedom. None of these things have power over me anymore. Self criticism, the scale or food.

Body image. How we see ourselves from the inside out. The irony is that very few of us don’t have a distortion in our “internal mirror.” Like the reflections in a fun house, we’re all out of wack. Obese people often live in eternal (and deadly) denial, and perfectly healthy people harm themselves through starvation, compulsive exercise and purging. And there’s no easy fix to this. There’s no exiting the fun house with a few laughs at the experience. The ride goes on and on.

The simple truth is that getting off that wheel starts with what we eat, how we live, and how we feel. The more we can simply surrender our love affair with self-criticism, the more room we have to learn self-care and self-esteem. And learn it and learn it and learn it some more.

After a lifetime of taunts, teases and put downs from everywhere we look (the media, the magazine covers and the world at large), we now have to learn a whole new way to love ourselves no matter what. AND forgive ourselves for the hatred to begin with!

We can’t love ourselves and chastise at the same time. It’s got to be the whole shebang if we’re really going to change. And why not? Change is all around us. Our entire nation is seeking a change. Our seasons change. The world keeps revolving. And WE are allowed to change. Human beings are remarkable. We can survive. We can survive torture, trauma, decades of abuse within our childhoods and homes, and the self abuse that came from those things.

We can come out of the other side of self hatred and discover an experience as beautiful and magnificent as falling in love. We can LEARN to love our selves and our lives.

Step 1. Start your day with a prayer to remember that you are powerful and precious. On your knees, ask the power around you to remind you to love yourself today. No matter what. Let every negative comment or thought simply float away unjudged. If you want peace, you must give up the idea of conflict entirely and all the time, this is our goal.

Step 2. Take the TIME to do loving things. How do you build self esteem? You DO esteemable things. Let that materialize as loving actions toward YOU today. We’re talking the basics here. Rest, downtime, company and healthy food and movement. Those are the basics. How long since your day revolved around those things? Too long, I bet.

Step 3. Love is a two-way street. So treat yourself to time with those who LOVE YOU. Recreate your childhood (whether yours was happy or not) and run, skip, jump, climb and play with those you love deeply…and who love you.

The simple truth is that YOU have the right to be honored and comforted, fulfilled and LOVED today – from the inside and the outside. Allow this into your life today.

To your journey of self-love and self-care,
Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor

www.LauraFenamore.com

Trick or Treat

It is sadly obvious that the “economic downturn” that is leaving families homeless, jobless, and without their retirement savings is due, in a large part, to greed. If all things break down to Love or Fear, as some spiritual minds believe, then greed certainly doesn’t fall on the side of love. Greed and Fear. How quickly they spread. Like all illnesses they hit those who are the most vulnerable, those who are discouraged, stressed or run down. So self-care becomes even more vital at a time like this.

For those who are able to breath deeply and find a rhythm, no matter what is happening to them externally, each day can still be filled with gratitude, and yes, even joy.

We are like those kids at Halloween, we can run away, scared by every mask and every ghoul. We can turn off our porch lights and hide in the darkened living room, hoping no one comes to trick us. Our other choice is obvious, we can take a deep breath and remember that there are no ghouls. Masks are only illusions. We can sit on our porch and share what we have with our neighbors. We can even join in and put on our own mask if we need to. We can choose to wear a mask of joy and “act as if” to get through scary days. (Not the same as denial, of course!)

My point is that in good times or bad, you are still living this ONE day of your life. It is yours, and you can refuse to ACT on fear. We may all be afraid; we do not know how things will turn and unfold with the economy, or with anything for that matter. But how we ACT is another story.

Will we sit, in our fearful, darkened living room and EAT all the candy? (It is worth noting that eating disorders are the most common addiction worldwide, and the cause of incalculable illness and emotional agony.) Like Halloween, addiction is a mask – it is not real. It offers a false face of comfort and escape, but underneath is a jailer who will fight with everything he has to keep you imprisoned and in despair.

Each of us has our own jailer, of course. Sometimes it is tangible, like food or alcohol or drug addiction, smoking, gambling, sex. Sometimes it is intangible, and it hides behind the mask of another person or an idea, like our old friend, GREED.

It is up to each of us to rip off the mask and make peace with the charlatan. We can be HOPEFUL at this time and release the EXCESS, caused by greed or fear. It may be frightening, but it is a time of rebalance. Whether we are losing excess debt or excess weight (in whatever form), we know there is a period of adjustment and perhaps grief.

Our habits as a person and a nation are going to have to change to support the new body. The more fit body. The healthier body.

We are the most prosperous nation in the world, and that is not about money. We have freedoms that are only dreamt of by other countries and other people. We can worship. We can speak freely, in word and in print. We can elect our government. We are based, not on a cultural or genetic similarity, but on one idea: Freedom.

The point of this essay is to encourage each of us to ENCOURAGE one another toward inner peace. To claim our own freedoms right now, in this moment. Your freedom. Your right to refuse to be locked in by addiction, hopelessness, greed, fear, or negativity of ANY kind.

This is your one precious life, and perhaps the biggest “trick” of all is that you’ve had the key inside you all along.

To your self-care, Laura Fenamore
Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

A Few Great Responses on Everyday Exercise

I wanted to share my experience with you.

My story started in 2001 when I was on vacation on the beautiful island of Aruba. I was sitting at the poolside bar, enjoying a nice cocktail. While enjoying the sun and life in general, I saw a man across the pool. He must have been at least 300 if not 400 pounds and he was digging his way through a huge hamburger. I watched the scene and got filled with horror. I looked at myself and although I was nowhere near the size of the man across the pool, I had to admit I developed somewhat of a beer belly. I guess my weight must have been around 230 pounds or so. I realized it was way too much for somebody of my age, 47 at that time. The repulsive scene across the pool triggered a switch in my head. I decided I never wanted to become like that man.

But what to do? I had a busy job, with lots of international travel. Every day was packed. I was always on the road and didn’t have time for sports. I decided I had to change. Once I was back from my vacation, I started searching on internet how I could ramp up a sports schedule, without killing myself. I started finding out everything there was to know about fat burning and cardio exercises, which heart rates I had to observe and so on. The next thing I decided was that the morning would be the best time for my exercises. Around lunch or in the evenings was not going to work for me, I was always on the phone. I just set my alarm clock half an hour earlier. I designed a training schedule and began working out every day.

So, now I had designed an increase in calorie burning. What about the intake side? I don’t believe in diets. But I realized I easily could cut down on the amount of food I was eating without starving myself. I also had figured out that beer has a lot of empty calories. So I decided I was going to stop drinking beer and I switched to two glasses of red wine a day. These two things probably would make a difference, I hoped, together with the work outs.

While I was slowly increasing the intensity of the workouts, the first two months not too much happened. But then all of a sudden in month three, my body literally started reorganizing itself. After six months of exercising, I had lost no less than 40 pounds and everybody started making comments I looked so good. It was a great reward.

Still today, 7 years later, I work out every morning. I am very fit and have a better stamina than a lot of my hockey team mates. Most of whom are ten years younger than I am.

I will turn 54 this year and I weigh 185 pounds, perhaps still a little bit too heavy, but certainly in a much better shape than back in 2001 when everything started.

What did it cost me? Apart from a few workout machines I bought at home – nothing. I just made my health and my body a high priority and I had the discipline to keep it like that. I feel my day is lost if I don’t start with my workout.

Regards, Wil


Hi Laura,

Keeping active is both a priority and a challenge. You see, I work in a salon and I write for industry publications. Both of these keep me seated most of the time. As a manicurist and a writer, I have to get up and move to stay healthy, but when you are busy it is hard to do. My solution is to almost always be training for my next marathon or half marathon event. It's like an accountability partner. You can't fake training on race day! Clients are always asking about my next event (most of which I do for charity) and how training is going. No, I'm not fast, and I won't win the purse, but I do get a finishers medal and the healthy rewards that go with training for the event.

So far, I have finished 5 marathons and countless half marathons. I even had the opportunity to take my mom to Ireland to cheer for me. The best part is it doesn't take much time and only costs a pair of shoes. I run/walk several days a week for less than and hour and do one training day as a super long run/walk. Thanks for listening, and thanks for the newsletter. - Erin


I vary my exercise routine. 2 days per week I work several muscle groups with weights focusing on dumbbell exercises to build strength and muscle mass. The other days I will vary between walking on a treadmill, doing a 1 hour bootcamp or spinning class at the local YMCA to focus on cardiovascular activity. I also use the steamroom 6 days per week to sweat out the toxins and I drink about 100 ounces of water per day. Additionally, I focus on a balance of proteins with high quality carbohydrates (fruits and vegetables). I have been following this routine most of the last year and it has been tremendous as I have lost over 30 lbs and am enjoying feeling strong again. I'm 52 and going strong. My best to you! - Joe


Hi Laura, I'm thinking about a response to your question about exercise -- it's definitely a top priority for me everyday. It always has been. At least as long as I can remember. My bedroom door opened on to the swimming pool in the house where I grew up in Manhattan Beach. I rolled out of bed, opened the door and swam almost every morning...in a kidney shaped pool.....maybe that helped me adapt to open water swimming. xxo m


Hi Laura, I dance at home or walk almost every night. I am going hiking this Saturday. I try to stay active. Margo

Four Steps to Being Inspired to Exercise

Our bodies are magnificent instruments. Almost without any effort they operate day after day, year after year. They digest, they move, they smell, they feel and they breath. The air we breath. There is nothing in life as simple and as profound as the air we breath. The average person could probably live four to six weeks without food and an average of ten days without water. But air. Air is a completely different story.

We must replenish our air supply millions of times a day. Every breath is the food of life. It is how our cells renew themselves. In fact, oxygen is even a key ingredient in weight loss. Our bodies simply cannot metabolize fat without oxygen and water. It is no accident that our magical bodies, when asked to work harder, demand more oxygen. Energy is metabolized when we work out, and it needs oxygen for the process to work. The more we move, the more air we need. But how do we find the inspiration to ask our bodies to work harder to begin with? That’s the million-dollar question.

For some of us, exercise is a love affair, but for others, it is a chore, or not part of our lives at all.
The very word inspire, broken down to its Latin roots, means to give breath. So finding a team of supporters to inspire us, as we make a renewed effort toward every-day movement and self-care is irreplaceable. It can mean the difference between success and failure as we try to create a life of physical activity and health. Why not build your own team of supporters? A small team. Your personal team can include friends, coworkers, relatives, a trainer at the gym – anybody can be part of the group that in-spires you to claim your right to be healthy and live longer. Next, build a plan around that team.

Try following this four-step recipe for your new life:

Step 1. Invite the RIGHT people to be on your team. Remember, this is the team to INSPIRE you. Don’t ask anyone to join who has a history of criticizing or demeaning you. For this effort to work you will want to choose upbeat, motivated team members who you genuinely enjoy spending time with. Consider inviting those friends you love, but rarely have free time to see.

Step 2. Pick a specific day of the week to MOVE with each member of the team. By setting up these four “inspired movement” sessions, you will not only feed your body, but your soul with thank you too. FOUR days a week, you will have one hour with someone you enjoy and feel encouraged by. Maybe Monday morning is a friend from the gym, and Wednesday evening is your spouse. By setting specific times, you become accountable not only to yourself, but also to your teammate.

Step 3. Plan activities that you enjoy. This sounds simple, but with a friend, exercise becomes playtime again! Saturday speed walks and Thursday racketball. Maybe one of your team members loves Yoga or swimming. It doesn’t matter what you do, just be inspired and get MOVING.

Step 4. Remember that breathing isn’t just about exercise. Pick a friend to really talk to. Talk about WHY you overate, your fears, your hopes for your new body. BREATH and open up to someone. Seek their inspired responses. Conspire with them to make NEW plans for your new life.

The Today Show recently did several shows on life expectancy that looked specifically at men and women living past NINETY years old, who were still healthy. Dr. Thomas Perls, Director of the New England centenarian study stated clearly that part of how long we live is based solely on LIFESTYLE CHOICES. (You can see how your own choices effect your lifespan at www.eons.com.) He stated that exercise is HUGE to a healthy life and to subtract at least FIVE years due to a lack of exercise. He went on to share that the three legs of a long life are: eating healthy, staying active, being social.

So creating a supportive, spirited support team not only turns exercise into fun, friend-filled breaks in your week, it also gives you more years to spend with those friends! This encouragement can truly help you to make the lifestyle changes necessary to live the good life and turn being physically fit into something you look forward to.

The truth is that we simply cannot have healthy bodies without consistent exercise and movement. Our hearts WANT to work. Why not start by choosing your team. You will be amazed at the support, friendship and intimacy you will discover by asking those four people to help you on your new road to health and wellness.

To your inspired life! Laura Fenamore
Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

The Prioritization of Self – Every-Day Exercise

Creating global sustainability has become, thankfully, far more than a buzz word. As a people, we are, thankfully, concerned with being respectful of our beautiful, generous home, the planet Earth. After all, without an Earth, where would we live? Sounds simple, right? How ironic that so many of us overlook our more personal home, our own bodies. We must ask ourselves the same simple question: Without a body, where would we live?

Every day, we prioritize everyone and everything before we “treat” ourselves to a good walk or an aerobics class. We act as though movement is a luxury to be earned after our work is finished and the dishes are put away. All week long, we drive our kids from one activity to another, while we literally sit behind the wheel of the car, growing our bodies bigger and bigger, and our personal sustainability more and more unlikely.

My life call, and my occupation, are tied to body image, but that doesn’t necessarily make hitting the gym any easier. Like everyone, my schedule is jam packed. I have clients I mentor, courses I teach, books and articles to write – every single day – not to mention friends, family, and public speaking engagements. But like a loving parent, I cannot speak to my clients endlessly about the prioritization of self and the importance of exercise without living those values. Hypocrisy does not sit well with me.

But what are we to do differently? The to do list is endless, and day after day, so many truly important things just don’t seem to happen. Free time feels more like an oxymoron than a goal.

The simple and encouraging reality though is that the time you invest in caring for yourself, especially exercise, not only comes back to you at the end (exponentially, in fact), but it frees you from countless sorrowful hours you would have spent on illness and pure exhaustion from being inactive and overweight.

Your choice is literally the gym or the doctor.

Today, love yourself so much that you choose personal sustainability, and stay HERE, alive and thriving for many years to come.

Make every-day exercise your NUMBER ONE priority. CHOOSE to stick around long enough to do that “to do” list. In fact, why not add a few things to it.


Encouragingly yours,
Laura Fenamore
CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

Waves of Doubt

Probably the hardest thing that we deal with in our lives is doubt. Oh sure, we go through enormously difficult situations – we lose jobs, we lose loved ones, we get sick, the list of hardships can be mind boggling.

But doubt is probably the most difficult hardship to conquer. It can literally come from nowhere and can feel like the snake in the garden, winding itself sneakily through our joys and our confidences. It can attach itself to our best relationships and undermine our finest moments.

Before his death, Socrates once described pleasure and pain as two sides of the same coin, saying that one could hardly live without the other. I wonder if we too easily cast doubt into the same pot as pain and disregard its enormous value to us as human beings. If we can accept doubt as part of our life process of faith, we can see that they are literally the yin and yang of one thing, rather than being at odds with one another.

Doubt and Faith. I suppose we much too easily believe that the opposite of love is hate or apathy. When in truth, the thing at odds with deep love is that undermining thread of doubt. Like the Buddha says though, life is suffering, and if we can accept that it is so, we can simply ride the wave of life and love each part, each experience, even the painful ones. They are part of our human adventure, and they make the beautiful all the more rich. And the wisdom and compassion that is born out of pain is immeasurable. So how can it be bad?

The waves of doubt in our love stories is no different. They are natural, they are human. We have not caused them, nor can we prevent them. But if we accept that this is as it should be, we can ride them. We can ride the ups and downs of our deep loves and know that they are beautiful and strong. The doubt is not bad.

The truest loves, in fact, are simply not the waves. They are the ocean. So deep and so strong that the tossing waves are only on the surface. Underneath, they are flowing, beautiful currents.

As human beings those waves of doubt will run through everything worth loving. They will run through our relationships, they will run through our efforts to love ourselves. They will ripple from our birth to our death, and even have the audacity to touch our experience with the Great Creator. We will doubt It’s love for us and our own right to exist. We will wonder what this life IS.

If we are able, however, to ride those waves with some expertise, the depth of love is always there to enfold us. This is the yin and yang of love. IF we allow it, we will grow to know that it cannot exist except with a love worth doubting. We are supposed to question the things of worth. We are literally born to question life itself.

Love is the one thing that joins us. It leaps tall prejudice in a single bound. It conquers speeding apathy with a word. It breaks all threads of division – race, religion, nationality, sexuality – LOVE is the great bond rising above all of those things. So bring on the doubt. I will know you, doubt, by your fruit, and for that reason, I will welcome you.


To your health, Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.blogger.com/Local%20Settings/Temporary%20Internet%20Files/Content.IE5/BITMSETR/www.LauraFenamore.com

I LOVE MY BREASTS

In case you haven’t heard, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. TODAY, before you do anything else, go to http://www.armyofwomen.org and register to support the mission to fight breast cancer. I am happy to support Dr. Susan Love who is up to great stuff with finding a cure for the problem.

I love my breasts! I can say that with pride today.

That wasn’t always the case though.
I can honestly say I hated my breasts for many years.
I hated them. And I have come full circle. I love them now.

When I was fat, they were huge and saggy. I did not get the perky breasts that my other sisters got. I got the saggy ones, and I was pissed off about that. Later, when I released my excess weight, (100 lbs. at age 25), I had smaller and saggier breasts. Along with the weight, I lost the elasticity in my breasts. I used to make my breasts the villains -- wrong for being saggy, wrong for not being perfect.

10 years ago I went to a doctor due to an abnormal mammogram. With a history of cancer in my family, that is nothing to take lightly. Courageously, I opened myself up to this doctor for her support and her strength regarding my health, instead she took that opportunity to say that I was a “great candidate” for breast implants. She may as well have said, “Laura, your breasts are an embarrassment to society.” While those were not her words, that was definitely her message.

I remember leaving her office in shock, crying. It took me a long time to see that my reaction was normal. Doctors have a challenging job, but they are not taught compassion and love in med school. I have done a lot of healing around the thoughtlessness of this doctor, and am gifted to actually laugh about her words now. As I write this, I feel guided to send her this post so she might realize that the impact of her words is not necessarily only skin deep.

I know now that this doctor was a catalyst for me to come to peace with my gorgeous breasts. Her criticism put me in touch with my own disapproval and self hatred of that part of my body. In forgiving her, I was able to forgive myself. So this doctor was an angel in disguise. That is how I came full circle. Having two healthy breasts is a privilege! Today I can say I love my beautiful saggy breasts. Every time I see that cartoon with the woman with saggy breasts (Sylvia), I laugh and say, someone's got to have them and I love mine. I love my breasts and thank them everyday for being healthy. Visit www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/sag.asp for a great laugh!

The area I live in, Marin County, has one of the highest rates of breast cancer in California and in the country. I often see women in the grocery stores and at the gym with kerchiefs covering their heads and I silently say a prayer, blessing them with love and praying for health and restoration to them. In an instant it puts any old remnants of my old saggy breast conversation into perspective. To those of us who have had a life long history of healthy breasts, stay grateful. To those of you women reading this who are suffering or have suffered from breast cancer, I hold you in love and pray for total health and peace and restoration to you and your body.

Breasts represent nurturing and nourishment. I want you to nurture and nourish your health mentally, physically and spiritually. You need it, your sisters need it, your daughters need it and mother earth needs it. Here is my October wish for you: That you can stand proud and naked in front of yourself in the mirror and shout out, I am perfect just the way I am and my breasts are beautiful exactly as they are.

To your health and beauty, Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

How to Honor our Precious Life and Precious Body

As almost all of the world’s population knows, September 11th, 2008 marked the 7th anniversary of the fall of the Twin Towers. After many years of living in California, I happened to be home visiting my family in New York City when 9/11 happened. The shock of losing so many souls only a few miles away from where I was standing that morning took my breath away.

Seven years later, it’s still a healing in progress for many of us. Indeed, the scar that the towers falling left is only starting to heal as the foundation of the new Freedom Tower is layed out.

In 2004, when the Tsunami hit South Asia, I was in flight from Thailand to Cambodia. Thailand was one of the hardest hit nations, losing an estimated 8,000 to death and leaving 4,000 missing. The economic impact is almost incalculable with so many families losing their main income provider and so many jobs lost from the tourism industry.

Of course, Thailand was only one affected area – almost 300,000 people perished in the Tsunami, making it the largest loss of life in modern history. The coincidence of being so near two of the most awful, unforeseen events in our lifetime does not escape me.

How do we heal from life-changing events like this? I am forced to ask this question over and over. The Tsunami, the Twin Towers, Hurricane Katrina, War – so many of us have been directly affected by the disasters of this millennium. But even for those of us who have not lost loved ones or been uprooted, we stand in solidarity. We are the living legacy of souls lost and lives changed.

What does this have to do with body image and weight loss?

Everything, actually.

There are so many different interpretations of what happens when we lose someone. Where do they go? We know only one thing for sure – they are not in their bodies. That part of them has ended. Today, you and I have a privilege – we are in our bodies, we can enjoy one more day of our precious life.

In a crisis, we know what is real and we know what is not. We release our daily distractions and obsessions based on vanity and self-criticism. We are forced to live authentically and think only about the moment we are in. Today, live as if this is the last day of your life. And do that again, tomorrow and the next day…on and on.

Today, what you DOES matters.

The big stuff. The small stuff. All of it.

Your day-to-day choices matter.

You are breathing right now and that is a great starting point. The root of the word “inspire” means breath. Today, choose to be inspired and do all you can to continue to draw breath.

• I want to ask you to think before you attack yourself or attack another person.


• Move your body because you can. You are alive and you can move.


• Inspire others by being grateful rather than critical. You are alive and that is enough reason to celebrate everyday.
  

Choose to EXPIRE from nothing but old age.

You are living this one precious, precious life – right now. If you need some answers on how to make those day-to-day healthy choices become a reality in your own life, reach out to me by phone or email. I have a life-changing 12-week course that will free you from the prison of poor body image and low self-esteem and teach you to live a different kind of life. A reverent, inspiring life that makes you want to stand up and cheer.

To your health,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

One Earth, One Planet, One Humanity

I often think about the prejudice I face as a gay woman and how fortunate I am to be able to choose when and how to share that very important part of my life. When I sense that it is not “safe” to be gay, I can choose to keep that information to myself. I often wonder how people of color, or other nationalities or religions (such as Muslim women right now), face prejudice and judgment every day and find the courage to deal with the pain of not being able to have that same choice. They wear their “minority” on their sleeves, so to speak. Quite simply, I get to hide and they do not.

Call me Pollyanna, or simply call me American, but I want to live in a world where none of that matters. As an individual, I do not care what color, background, sexuality or religion you may be. I love people and always give them the benefit of the doubt. I wish this were the way of the world.

It is 2,008, and gay rights are at the forefront of this election – and things are moving in favor of someone’s right to choose the most basic thing in their lives -- their life partner. However, we know that this far from being resolved. The legality of choosing our partners looms like the blinded woman with the scales of justice. Is she blindfolded to all things but justice, as she should be? Or is she just blind as we hurt one another due to prejudice?

Prejudice and Judgment – why do I care what you think of me? Well, to be honest, rejection is palpable. Like all human beings, the risk and the reality of rejection is that the pain it causes often translates to self-abuse through food, drugs, alcohol, sexual addiction, and low self-esteem. Being gay had a profound impact on my body image and self-worth. I was told I was sick. I was told there was something “wrong with me. What Eckhardt Tolle calls the pain body has, in some ways, taken a lifetime to heal.

There is something “wrong with you.” That’s what our society and even the people closest to us tell us every day. You are gay. You are black. You are fat. You are handicapped. You are wrong. Endlessly, the message is profoundly simple: You are wrong.

And in that wrongness, we kill one another from the moment we first draw breath.

How do we heal this?

· As a nation, we heal it through laws and civil rights.
· As communities we heal it by demonstrating and supporting one another.
· But as a person, the question is always right in front of me. How do I heal the “pain body” and the harm that “being wrong” did to my body and my soul?

Powerfully, thankfully, through hard work, going within, and peeling away the “pain bodies” one layer at a time, I have translated most of my “pain body” into power. So much Power that I get to share it and teach it. Some days I feel like the statue of liberty. Bring me your huddled masses because liberty and freedom are yours. You are not wrong, and you never have to hurt yourself or hate yourself for who you are again. You can be free, not only to be who you are, but to love who you are and anyone else you choose to love.

Where do you begin?

I’ve literally written a book on this. Let me offer one simple tool that costs nothing but a little practice. Stop telling yourself you are wrong, you are ugly, or you are fat. Quite simply, stop the negative self-talk. Every time your mind says what a piece of crap you are for X, Y, or Z reason, stop it in its tracks and say, “I am [your name] and I am wonderful.” Then list the things about you – your core. Such as, “I am a powerful, smart, resourceful, strong, black woman. I can change anything that I want to. I come from a culture of survivors.”

Continue until you cannot say any more.

For years I hated myself for being gay. It was one more reason to shame Laura. Although I live in a world that often feels it is still wrong, I can stand and proudly say, “I am Laura Fenamore, and I am a passionate gay woman. I use my power and deep belief in love to serve others and to claim my right to exist. I am a beautiful woman in a beautiful body. I love myself, and in that, I am empowered to love all people.”

THIS is a good beginning.

To your authenticity,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
Laura@LauraFenamore.com

Fate and Fitness – Three Ideas to Change Your Life

What is it that creates our life span? Is it the three Fates, as the Ancient Greeks believed? One who starts the thread of your life, one who guides it, and one who in the end cuts it off? Is it simply the will and whim of a Higher Power? Or do we have far more input in our own longevity than we dare, or care, to admit?

Although there are undoubtedly an endless array of variables that we cannot effect, like being hit by a bus or falling in the bathtub, do we take ownership of those things we can change? Do we use our power and even admit the cause and effect of our choices? When it comes down to it, we can actually choose to live longer, and the trade off is denial. We must admit where we are right now in order to be empowered to do things differently.

A recent issues of Forbes Magazine noted that there are currently 1.6 billion overweight adults in the world. Frighteningly, that number is projected to grow by 40% over the next 10 years. On the list of overweight nations, the United States is number NINE. By contrast, Japan is number 163. When we compare this scale to that of lifespan, it is no surprise that we find it inverted. At birth, a typical Japanese person can expect to live to be eighty-two years old. They are third on the list. Where do we fall, as Americans? We are number forty-five. Sadly, if you are born in the United States, with more advantages than anyone else in the world, you can expect to live a full four years less than your Japanese counterparts.

Four years. That may seem inconsequential when you consider that it is the difference between being 78 or 82 when you leave this life, but ask any person faced with terminal cancer what they would not give for four more years? There’s no guarantees for any of us, but let’s face it, what matters more, quality or quantity – and why not have both.

So what can you DO?

1. Choose life. Every single day, we are able to make choices to claim those four years, one hour at a time. To begin with we can reverse our personal spot on that obesity scale. Simply refuse to be obese, and then do whatever it takes to make that a reality. There is help everywhere if you are willing to look for it. For a nation that grows fatter every year and spends more on weight-loss than the entire nation of Haiti spends on food, this may seem impossible. But this is not a theory or a runaway train – this is YOU. It is your life span and your BMI (Body Mass Index). You are not a number, you are a person – and as a person, you are gifted with free will. Every single thing you do matters. Start with small changes and get onto a roll. Remember, each day that you choose to do the right thing, you win one more day at the end of the track.

2. Build a life worth living. In addition to making better choices, fall in love with your own life. Begin to build a life so great that you want to be here to live it. That may mean you have to make some changes now. Some days it will feel like you’ve gone ten rounds in the ring with Mohammad Ali, but you cannot give up. There isn’t another body to crawl into when you’re finished with this one. Treating this body with self-love and gratitude is non-negotiable if you’re going to earn those extra days. And you’ll need them, a life worth living is one you won’t want to miss for a moment.

3. Fall in love with YOU. You are unique, in all of space and time there cannot be another you. Get to know your own deepest dreams and wishes, and honor them. Even if you cannot create them, you can love the dream itself. And who knows, if you make the right choices enough of the time, and you earn those extra four years, who knows what you might be able to accomplish? Pablo Picasso was 91 years old when he died. So paint the town red and strive to live inside your body and be around to love YOU as long as possible!

To your health, Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
Laura@LauraFenamore.com

Laura Fenamore Publishes A New Book

Controversial Fitness Leader Publishes Book to Wide Acclaim "Inventing Change From the Inside Out"

CLICK ABOVE TO GET YOUR COPY OF THIS LIFE CHANGING BOOK AND USE IT! This is a powerful tool to end obesity, eating disorders, yo-yo dieting, food addiction and low self-esteem. You can change your life and create permanent weight loss.

For information on participating in Laura's new 12-week course, starting late September, call Laura directly at 415-464-1234. The course is limited to only a handfull of participants, so don't delay.

www.LauraFenamore.com

China Dolls

There are some expressions that seem to float timelessly and effortlessly through society. One of these is, “pretty as a china doll.” Recently we’ve had to stop, however, and ask ourselves, “Just what does that really mean?”

The Chinese government pulled a bizarre switcheroo at their opening ceremony at the Olympics and put one beautiful little girl’s voice onto another beautiful little girl’s body, somehow negating both children in the process. Obviously, a boatload of attention and support has been given to the “ugly duckling” (Yang Peiyi), who was actually as sweet and imperfectly adorable as 7-year olds ever are. But the other side of the coin – the other little girl (Lin Miaoke) – is really just as victimized.

Although she may have been chosen as “the pretty one,” beautiful little Lin Miaoke has been completely invalidated as anything but a pretty face. She is a cardboard cutout – a mask. She is not real. And to make matters worse, if you really look at this situation, she literally has no voice. Now, it’s no surprise that we stand here on our side of the world in strong judgment of this ”switcheroo” – and we should – but at what point do we point that finger back at ourselves?

The internet, the pulse of today’s society, is ripe with criticism. One blogger on TotalHealth.com (The Weighting Game with Leslie) expressed her outrage for the hidden Peiyi like this:

That's what happened with Peiyi. She was erased, pushed aside for a sanitized version of what China thinks a little girl should look like.

Another blogger, Lindsay Weiss, on Parent Center Momformation said:

Are you kidding me? What isn’t adorable about a little girl with crooked teeth, chubby cheeks, and a voice of an angel? This girl reportedly said she didn’t mind singing in the wings and that it was a honor to sing for her country. God bless her…but what kind of message does that send to her? … Please. I’m disgusted.

Yes, we all jump to our feet in outrage and harsh criticism of this bait and switch by the Chinese government, and the horrible treatment of a very normal looking little girl. But we have to admit that we are just as guilty of masks, disguises and deceptions of beauty. In fact, we airbrush even our most beautiful models and actresses, and then ridicule people like Jennifer Love Hewitt for being a size two. Every single day, we are complicit in the same kind of Olympic-sized fraud. We define beauty in more and more narrow terms. Over the last few decades, the line between pretty and ugly has become so thin that our girls are literally dieing to cross it.

Rather than stand in judgment of anyone, perhaps we need to step back and look at ourselves. Maybe we need to ask if we, as a society, have set the bar to beautiful so high that we have ostracized almost everyone. Maybe what we need to be outraged by is the crazy message that we are never, ever enough.

Let’s take a minute and really digest and mediate on the old adage: Beauty is only skin deep.

To all of my readers, I have an inspiration to offer you: Be healthy. Be fit. Be more than the skin you’re in. You are absolutely awesome and beautiful just as you are, right now.

To your health, Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.laurafenamore.com/

Copyedited by Mary Agnes Antonopoulos, www.RockawayWriter.com

Eating Myself Alive – The “Fat Princess”

There is a particular brand of humor out there where the comedian routinely makes themselves the brunt of every joke. Many of those jokes tend to be about weight, body image, and in general, self-depreciation. The reason that we can all sit anonymously in the audience and laugh at these “put-downs” is that we can usually be fully confident that the star on the stage likes themselves. They somehow embody an air of, “The joke’s really on you, because I’m awesome.” Or at least, “If you don’t like it, lump it.” We never have to stop when listening to Roseanne Barr or Drew Carey and wonder if all the “fat talk” is hurting their feelings. Somehow we KNOW that they KNOW we love them – every single ounce.

But what happens when we touch upon the average person, one who has not been seasoned by life yet. One who hasn’t had a chance to build the needed armor to love themselves in a world that obviously feels it is just fine to be prejudiced against the fat kid on the playground. Case in point? Fat Princess.

Briefly, Fat Princess is Sony's upcoming video game. It debuted at the recent E3 expo to much clamor and a web of criticism from feminists and non-feminists alike. Basically, the colorful Fat Princess is capture-the-flag with a twist – you thwart her capture from the “bad guy” by locking the once-thin princess in a dungeon and stuffing her full of cake so they literally can’t haul her big butt back to home base.

Fun? Funny? Unlike Drew Carey, the joke is on us. As a society, we decry segregation and prejudice in every way, and then we allow something like Fat Princess to be bought and sold with aplomb. And don’t kid yourself, the princess isn’t 35, she’s a kid. At most, she’s a teen. At a time in their lives when our daughters body’s are changing as fast as their hairstyles and what they need more than anything is reassurance and messages about healthy bodies, we are again allowing society to force feed them yet another message about FAT. And for good measure, this one is all tied up in a story about marriage and relationships.

If she’s fat enough, Fat Princess can remain … what? A virgin? Unclaimed? Unmarried? Ask any professional, and one of the tenets of most eating disorders is hiding from one’s own sexual development. Too fat and you’re safe from sexual overtures, thin enough and you’re so childlike you’re safe as well.

While allowing open dialogues around childhood obesity and healthy approaches to healthy bodies is vital to our recovery as a society, pretending that diminishing our young women is fun and games is beyond absurd.

Do yourself and future generations a big favor. For one week note how you speak about your body in front of your kids – and all the kids in your life. Are the words coming from your mouth self-loving? Or are they self-loathing? Don’t kid yourself; what you say matters. You ARE having an impact, one way or the other. This is not to shame or wrong you. Like all of us, you probably do enough of that without anyone’s help. But it is meant to open your eyes in order to live a new way.

I have no doubt that we, empowered women, are all about creating a legacy of empowered women. Creating an entire generation of self-hating adolescents is both insane and self-destructive. Let’s not feed our girls any more ideas about princesses at all – let’s fill their mouths with powerful, self-loving words about being QUEENS. Queens have power and queens rule their kingdom. Settling for anything less is just a royal flush.

***************************************************************************

YOU CAN create REAL transformation in your life and your family.

I am about to launch my third session of my 12-week course, which begins in September. Like sessions one and two, this course will help you create REAL, valuable, and permanent change in your life. It is called: Loving What You See in the Mirror (Crucial Components to Permanent Weight Loss).

I am currently interviewing potential participants to fill the remaining spots for this course, and I welcome you to call me at 415-464-1234 to discuss your weight-loss experiences and goals. I've been there, and my course has grown out of many years and experiences helping others to find their own freedom from binging, compulsive eating, yo-yo dieting, eating disorders, anorexia, etc. You can click here to visit my website to see my story.

The two groups I currently lead are spectacular. The women are dynamic and wonderful. They are calling forth permanent change, they are committed to their accountability partners, and they are embracing their own transformation.

There is still room remaining, so encourage your friends and loved ones to reach out for a phone interview to decide if they would be an ideal candidate for this life-changing program. 415.464.1234


By, Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Master Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

Losing to Win – It’s a Family Affair

As any parent can tell you, the back-to-school season is only nano-seconds away. New backpacks, notebooks, sneakers, and oh yeah, lunchboxes. I wonder if we give what we plan to put inside those lunchboxes (and, ultimately, into our kids) half as much thought as which Disney character or pop singer graces the outside?

We are bombarded with information today, from Morgan Spurlock’s ”Supersize Me” and Michael Moore’s “Sicko,” to the recent cover story of Time Magazine (“Our Supersized Kids”). We literally pay billions of dollars toward sports programs and physical education. With all of this effort and knowledge, one would expect us to have the healthiest kinds in the world!

Let’s face it, making good choices in a world floating in high-fructose corn syrup and fast food isn’t easy!

In the last 20 years, the average American family of four has increased their sugar consumption by more than 8-10 pounds every week. Imagine filling your living room with two 5-pound bags of sugar, for each member of your family, every single month. Now imagine the same room ten years later. This is what we are allowing into our homes and our kids. It’s no wonder that two-thirds of Americans are overweight; we are literally sacrificing our personal sustainability in exchange for “the sweet life.”

Did you know that 32% of all American kids are overweight?

Penelope Slade-Royall, Director of the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion says, "Sit down on a bench in a park with a person on either side of you, if you're not overweight, statistically speaking, both of the other people sitting with you are."

So what happens now? What do we need to “lose” in order to “win” as a nation?

Every day we bring in, or send out for, bags and boxes of processed carbs and sugar (much of which becomes lunch and dinner), and then we spend our verbal energy berating ourselves and complaining about being overweight.

Where is that getting us?

Our sons and daughters hear every self-hating remark we make. “I’m so fat…” “I ate too much…” “My big butt…” etc, etc., and then we load on more self-hate with every spoonful and every meal. Talk about mixed messages!

1. Let’s begin a personal revolution right now and fill our mouths with self-loving words and healthy food. Let’s think “out of the box” when it comes to the lunchbox. Simple changes can make a big difference over time. How about peanut butter on whole wheat bread (or PB & Honey if your kids demand something sweet), then add an apple or a bunch of grapes and a skim milk. How about tossing in a sliced cucumber or some cherry tomatoes. Or consider a “do-it-yourself” lunch kit of whole grain crackers and lowfat cheese.
   
2. Next, let’s begin a self-dialog and a family-dialog focused on acceptance and self-love. Start by replacing words like “diet” with “healthy food” and “portions,” let’s replace “exercise” with “movement,” and let’s NOT give in to the quick-fix! Skip the drive-thru, and instead, stay hungry for ten minutes until you can get home and grab a delicious orange while preparing whole wheat pasta and lean chicken or fish.
   
3. Remember, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Busy working moms and dads need to plan every single meal in order to avoid last-minute crises. Take the time today to sit down and take stock of what you have and what you need, then put together a plan for the next week that includes twenty-one healthy meals and at least four or five fun, physical activities to enjoy as a family.
   
4. Get honest about your limits and free up your time. If time is an issue, and let’s face it, it is for most of us, how about swapping responsibilities with a friend or neighbor? Get creative, what do you need? The universe is more than willing to support you and so are your loved ones – so ask for help, because chances are, they need it to.

Do these things and you will invite your entire family to live long and live strong! Let’s face it, like the piper, you pay the grocer by either spending a few extra dollars on healthy food, or you spend it at the doctor’s office later on. Nutritious, healthy, invigorating food or illness and co-pays...

Which do you choose?


To your health! Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor

http://www.laurafenamore.com/
Laura@LauraFenamore.com
415-464-1234

Personal Sustainability - You are NOT Fat or Thin -- You are ENERGY

For many of us, losing weight has been the distracting focus of much of our lives. It has been our limiting, lying nemesis. Our mind says, IF ONLY I were thin . . . IF ONLY I could lose weight.

Ironically, the problem with this thought, from the very first moment, is that weight simply does not get lost. You can’t hide it under the bed and hope everyone forgets about it – or lose it in a closet full of old clothes that don’t fit; because the one who can’t forget – not for a second – is you. And worse, the thing you do risk forgetting is the vibrant, magnificent woman that you are and the incredible life that you are meant to have right now – at this very moment.

As women filled with self-love, the idea of “losing” weight must be bravely replaced with the larger truth … using weight.

Using weight. That is a truth you can wrap your head around and participate in. Instead of frantically waving a magic wand around your belly or rear-end and feeling like your own body’s victim, you can dance and plant a garden or do loving service for others. You can enjoy and love your precious, active life and refuse to be distracted with self-loathing ever again.

Think of your body as a bank. You have simply deposited extra energy that you are now ready (and more than willing) to lose. Each pound of extra weight is equal to 3,000 energy units (calories). Everything we eat and everything we do is simply energy in or out of our bank. Remember, also, the universe does not know “fat” or “thin” – it knows energy. Having stored energy in your body is not bad or good to the universe. It just is. Using that energy in creative, self-loving ways can be a beautiful exploration.

You can boldly strike out on a path and explore a life where living authentically simply means non-judgmentally embracing good health and using your energy in purposeful ways.

If you used to entertain a stream of thoughts such as: I don’t have time to walk today; I have too much work to do to work out; I’m too busy to eat a salad; I’m too fat to go to that event. You can consciously replace them with self-love, such as:

I have enough stored energy in my body to plant a phenomenal garden this summer.
I will use some of my stored energy to paint my house – and then my elderly neighbor’s too.
I am a beautiful expression of universal energy.
I will take in great, living foods that won’t add to my stored energy, but will heal my living body.

Whatever your limiting beliefs are about taking care of yourself, your body and your inner child, these are lies that you simply can’t afford to participate in any longer. Because in the end, it’s all energy, and hateful self-dialog can be as deadly as cancer – just ask anyone with a life-long eating disorder or deep depression. It may not be as easy as throwing a switch, but starting out with a loving awareness of the energy we put out, hold in, or hold onto our bodies is a very real foundation for change.

Your body’s very heartbeat and breath are part of the universe’s energy. Lovingly visualize the many creative, purposeful activities you can accomplish with your personal bank of stored energy. Allow yourself to choose a few longer projects that will lovingly “express” stored calories from your bank. Breathe deeply and brainstorm. Include expressions of loving service to others.

It’s your energy bank and YOUR life, spend it wisely.

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Master Mentor

http://www.laurafenamore.com/
Laura@LauraFenamore.com
415-464-1234

No Give Backs, No Trade In’s, No Kidding

There is no doubt that we live in a throw-away society today. Everywhere we look, we embrace the “out with the old, and in with the new” philosophy. Something breaks nowadays, and we don’t even think about calling the repairman – it’s somehow just easier to buy a new one. Even larger items, like cars, are replaced with abandon after only a few years.

Sadly, we seem to think that virtually everything can just be replaced and renewed with the snap of a finger. It doesn’t just kill our sustainability as a planet, it effects how we look at the very core of our existence. Don’t like your body? Well, get it botoxed – or lipo’d – or tucked – or otherwise molded into something that simply wasn’t the “you” that you knew only the day before.

What did we do before today’s craze for instant fixes? Well, to begin with, we lived with our imperfections. Take a look at the old “Charlie’s Angels” pictures – oddly enough, even the pin-up girls of yesteryear weren’t perfect.

We have simply lost something in translation over the last few decades, and in that, we’ve lost some of our personal responsibility to our personal sustainability. Bluntly, there are no trade-in’s on your body.

Your body is literally your HOME. You live in it from your first breath to your last. And believe me, the LAST thing that the mainstream diet and exercise industry wants you to do is the ONE thing you must do – love yourself and take care of that home. You see, if you really learned self-care and self-love, you wouldn’t need them any longer. Instead, they want you to BUY THE LIE that you aren’t even WORTH loving until you are slender and can run a seven-minute mile.

Well, slender and fit is an awesome goal – it means that we would no longer be eaten alive with insecurity and self-loathing about our bodies and our weight – and that we would live awesome lives of inspiration and meaning. But let’s face it, even slender people suffer from crippling poor body image (and there are plenty of full-figured people who seem to be fulfilled and successful). So where do we begin???

• First, we need to trade-in the idea about “disposability” that we’ve made love to the last few years. This is your ONE body and your ONLY chance to be healthy and live long and strong.
  
• Second, if that’s true, then we need to LOVE who we are RIGHT NOW. If we truly loved ourselves, we wouldn’t be eating our hearts out and stuffing our feelings every day.
  
• Third, let the healing begin. Whatever you do, just REFUSE TO DO NOTHING.

On August 5th, I will begin a 12-week course entitled, Loving What You See in the Mirror (Crucial Components to Permanent Weight Loss). I am still interviewing potential participants to fill the last few spots still open. The first group started in June, and it has been spectacular. The women are dynamic and wonderful. They are calling forth permanent change, they are committed to their accountability partners, and they are embracing their own transformation.

Now maybe this course isn’t right for you, but whatever you do, just don’t give up. Although there really are no give backs or trade in’s, you can absolutely claim your right to a DO OVER and begin your new start (and love affair) with a healthy body any time you want to.

Laura Fenamore
Laura@LauraFenamore.com
www.LauraFenamore.com

Breaking up is Hard to Do -- Saying Goodbye to Compulsive Eating

If you are currently on, or have ever seriously been on a journey to lose weight, one thing we can all agree on is that breaking up is not easy. Food becomes a lot more than pure nutrition throughout our lives. Let me outline some of the many roles food plays – we make it our friend, comforter, lover, mother, brother, enemy, etc., etc., none of which have anything to do with what food really is – energy.

The powerful questions are:
· What do we do now to create freedom and body image mastery?
· HOW do we take our power back?

In order to get to the heart of the matter – why we overeat or undereat – we need to put down the bat. Being our own worst critic doesn’t work; think about the mean words you sometimes use about your body. Those words hurt – and when we hurt, it’s sometimes tough not to eat.

What if, just for today, you throw away the criticism and the judgment – and no matter WHAT it takes, don’t pick it up. As you read this article, imagine what would fill your soul – enough so you would not need comfort food today.

This exercise starts with a strange direction, but trust me: Put on an outfit with pockets.

· Who can you turn to today to fill your need for companionship? Make a list of names with phone numbers for one pocket; remember to only fill the list with people who make you feel safe, loved, and filled with energy. If you find yourself obsessing about food or how you look, start calling down the list until you get a live person on the phone and courageously talk about your feelings. Fill your mouth with words and emotions.

· What could fill your spiritual needs today? A long walk? A trip to a church or temple? Try getting on your knees right this moment and tell the universe that you do not want to hurt yourself with food. Write down your own prayer – just a few lines, and put it in another pocket. [Later, if you feel compelled to eat in a way that is not self-loving, breath deeply and read the prayer 25 times. The compulsion may be washed away by the universe – and the time it takes to pray. Remember, most compulsions only last three minutes.]

· As you sit here, take a moment and breath very deeply. Fill another pocket with loving affirmations. (Download some at http://www.laurafenamore.com/. Sign up to receive them every day if you like.)

· Put a pen and paper in every empty pocket and talk to yourself on the page. Listen to yourself. Write about your relationship with food. Include your feelings and memories and the people in your life. Write to old “ghosts” and new dreams. Remember that your goal is to provide nourishment to your entire being today – body and SOUL. You can claim your power that fills you from head to toe, not from hand to mouth. Claim your true, brilliant space in this world and claim it TODAY. You are worth the effort.

You may have done many of these exercises before, and that’s great. DO them again. Today is a new day, and our relationship with food and our bodies is also new.

Try on a new story – it goes well with your pockets of possibilities.
Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Master Mentor

Independence Day

For me, every day is the Fourth of July. This isn’t because I love going to the beach, enjoying BBQ’s with friends, or any of the wonderful things we do on July 4th. It is ALL about my personal INDEPENDENCE. Every single day without compulsive eating, I get to declare my freedom from anything that doesn’t represent self-love and personal sustainability.

To begin with, I declare myself free from the hundred pounds I lost two decades ago. I am fit and fabulous because I claim my self-loving right to exist in a body that I love to live in.

Make no mistake, supporting that healthy body is all about supporting my mind. It means saying no to people who deplete my energy and wear down my spirit – and that means having to face the disapproval (or even rejection) of others when I don’t do what they want or need.

We must make tough choices in order to say “yes” to ourselves and prioritize the strong bodies and healthy lifestyles we truly want. It means that we cannot do everything that everyone wants every minute of every day. Rather, we will have to literally carve out a piece of our lives that belongs to no one but us. And if we have lived a life of self-deprecatory blindness to our own needs or dreams, it means that something will have to GO to make room for something new.

Here are some tools to making all of your days Independence Days:

· Start by making a list of everyone you see in a month – everyone. Ask yourself if they inspire and invigorate you or if they deplete your energy.
· Place a plus or minus next to their name (this has nothing to do with your love for them).
· Every day, spend more time and energy within those relationships that energize you.
· Start your day early, before everyone else awakens. Like all shifts, there will be a trade. It may mean ending your day without the 11pm news (a negative way to end a day anyway).
· Start your great day with inspiring reading (visit www.LauraFenamore.com/affirmations for a quick, positive message every day), and give yourself 30 minutes of movement.
· Plan your day and plan your food! Don’t get caught off guard and find yourself starving at 4pm after a day of running around for others. That is, quite literally, a recipe for disaster.

Remember what Thomas Jefferson said: “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.”

That is what we MUST embrace every day if we are to be strong and vibrant and self-loving. We literally have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

First LIFE. Claim your LIFE – literally. Make a list of what would support you to live one more healthy, beautiful day above ground.

Then LIBERTY. What would it mean to let go of your biggest burden, just for today? Can you get help with that burden and give yourself a break?

And finally, the pursuit of HAPPINESS. What would life need to look like to be truly happy right now? And if you can’t get to that picture right this moment, and you need to make a plan to get there, can you CHOOSE to be emotionally happy right now, as you begin the PURSUIT of that life?