Falling Forward Part 5

So, here I am. Months after my initial fall. And I am busy every day LOVING my body through its process of healing. Some days that means holding the space for the little girl in me to be sad or frustrated or even afraid. My life has changed, and I cannot know what that will mean tomorrow – or even a few years down the road. What I CAN know, however, is that I am willing to create enough self-love and self-care every day to love my body and honor it – even through limited mobility, or pain, or discord. My body is my HOME, and I love it no matter what. For today, that means that I am willing to embrace physical therapy to be as STRONG as I can and to create an energy of healing all around me.

What I have learned louder than anything, is that my body needs to move for my emotional well being. I am naturally a vibrant and happy woman – I have done a TON of inner work to be able to say that with conviction – and exercise makes me even happier. I KNOW that I will always create a life with movement and exercise – whatever that may mean at the time. Right now, it may mean swimming instead of aerobics, and when I’m eighty, it may mean chasing my partner down the hall in my walker. But whatever it is as each day unfolds, movement makes my life richer, and for that I am grateful. I will get back there, and patience is key. Thank you God and body for allowing me to practice patience. How are you being patient with your body today?

Laura Fenamore, CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
Laura@LauraFenamore.com
http://www.LauraFenamore.com

I suppose that one of the lessons I am privileged to learn through my injury is a renewed understanding of the issues many of my clients face. Because one of the side effects of not being able to exercise is that I am gaining a little weight. The myriad of feelings around this, and turning my expertise INWARD, has been really meaningful. You see, body image mastery is absolutely NOT about weight. It's about honoring ourselves from the INSIDE out. It's about creating enough self-love and self-care that we no longer abuse ourselves with food in any way. No binging. No starving. In fact, after a while, body image mastery leads to a love affair with food – HEALTHY food. It leads to loving your body so much that you WANT to exercise – partly to BE healthy and partly just to CELEBRATE.

My primary work in the world is to be healthy, physically, emotionally and spiritually and I am! However, things like an unexpected weight gain can feel troubling, like a monkey on my back. And even though I know the weight will release itself (and every physical therapist I see tells me the same thing), it is not always easy. I am here to practice what I preach by observing my fearful thoughts and watching them come and go. So yes, I am holding on to my deep love and appreciation for my body and taking care of it while it heals. Every day, I kiss my knee many times and talk to it and let it know it is healing and loved so much. I treat it like I would a little baby. We can do that to every body part we have. Our body will drink it up. Who doesn't want to be loved up? I do!!!!

Fallling Forward

Hurting my knee has had some very far reaching effects in my life, and the process of recovering has been much more arduous than I would have expected. I didn’t’ want to have surgery at first, and resisted it. Finally though, I came around. It was necessary. I asked my body and it told me. Ever the optimist, I joked with the surgeon that I was going to leave the hospital and head straight to the gym. Hah! You think I am kidding right? I AM NOT. I remember coming out of anesthesia and asking to speak to the doctor, saying, “If I cannot go to the gym this week, can I take a long walk by Saturday?” (It was Tuesday.) He answered, “You will see for yourself.” Hah. My doctor knew. By Saturday, I could barely get out of bed, let alone take a walk! This was not even close to reality. In fact, even months later, I’ve had to adjust my exercise regimen DRASTICALLY.

As a body image mastery mentor, you can imagine how important movement is in my life. I LOVE to work out. It is a BIG part of my self-care. It is how I honor my body, the one true home that my soul gets to live in, and it is how I honor my spirit. I truly appreciate and own the emotional peace and relief that comes from 60 minutes of exercise a day – so much so that I often do two or three times that much. Not any more though. Now, I basically take all of the effort I used to put into exercising my body, and pour it into being PATIENT with it instead.

Allowing the PROCESS of healing to BE a process is not easy, but I know that the universe is teaching me every moment of every day. My job is simply to be open and hear the lessons.
Can anyone out there relate to any of this? I would love to hear from you if you can.

Falling Forward

The fall I took in the parking lot that day ended up being far worse than I first realized. Like most of us, I told myself that it was just a bad fall. But by that first night of agony, it became pretty obvious that something was wrong. After quietly sneaking out of the house in the dim morning light, and NOT asking for help (sound familiar), I made my way to the emergency room of our local hospital. I had torn two meniscuses in my knee. If any of you have experienced this injury, you know that it is extremely painful – and it is more far reaching than one might realize.

Much to my initial chagrin, I was going to have to put aside my fierce independence and my fear and ask for help. I had gotten banged up, I was in pain, I couldn’t get around, and I needed help. This really forced me to ask the universe why was this happening. What were my lessons here? And to ask my body what it really needed? As I teach and know firsthand, the answers will ALWAYS (and I MEAN ALWAYS) come to us. Whether we care to hear them is a different story. So the answers came flooding to me (and are still coming!). I needed to slow down and to hold onto one of my favorite mantras, “The slower I go, the faster I get.” I needed to pay better attention to my joints and to switch things out in my training program. You see, I push myself. I always have and always will (at some level), and yet the body and the soul definitely kick back when they have had enough.

Injuries are gentle ways for the body to say, ENOUGH! Slow down – you must. I cannot take it anymore. So here I am on February 3rd, 2 months post surgery, still limping and yet loving my knee back to health.

Falling Forward

Back in the Fall, on October 4th, 2008 to be exact, I was walking through a parking lot, excited to get home and head out to my dear friend Lisa's 50th Birthday party. The next thing I knew, WHAM, I was flying through the air. It was a bad fall – no kidding. To begin with, the shock of falling as an adult is awful. I sat there, badly scraped up and obviously hurt, and I held the space for the little girl inside of me and just cried for a few minutes.

As a body image mentor who has been working through old traumas for many years, I knew that it was vitally important to honor those feelings immediately, IN THE MOMENT. When we're able to do this, it saves us from having to backtrack and honor them later. But it's certainly not an easy accomplishment. Many people simply feel embarrassed or ashamed about "falling." As adults, we steal ourselves to stay composed in tough situations – much more than is realistic or healthy. We train ourselves not to be angry, or to laugh too loudly – and we certainly shouldn't sit in a parking lot after a bad fall and have a heartfelt cry.

So how did I learn to be in the moment and hold that space? Well, one way was revisiting events where I DIDN'T allow my true, healthy feelings to exist. Take a few minutes today and sit with pen and paper. What are some of those "bad falls" you've had – what were your TRUE feelings? Did you rob yourself to look strong while hurting on the inside? And what did you show the world around you, instead?

Post comments here -- I'd love to hear what you all have to say on this.

Laura Fenamore
CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.laurafenamore.com/

Oprah Winfrey – “Love” that Casts a Widening Pool of Light

Like most Americans, I spent the great part of last Tuesday glued to my television. The inauguration of our new president, Barack Obama, in the freezing temperatures was so many things, but cold simply wasn’t one of them. It was warm – it was inspiring, it was filled with hope, it was emotional. For me, one of the MOST moving moments though, was when Elizabeth Alexander read her poem, “Praise Song for the Day.” I think the reason that this poem moved me so much was that the question she offered – and the answer – were an unexpected twist. The poem started by inviting us to walk down the street, and it moved easily through everyday moments of life. It was just a normal snapshot, and then, it wasn’t. It was that question. One that is so totally in concert with how I live my life and what I’ve been sharing and writing about for the last twenty years.

What Elizabeth Alexander asked at the inauguration of Barack Obama was this:

“What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light.”

I am even moved again, the moment that I write this, because if the mightiest word is LOVE, then we will ALL know that ALL things truly are possible. If the mightiest word is love, then that love – turned INWARD – will truly create the change we are all looking for, one person at a time.

And this idea – this love turned inward – also answers a call I’ve been hearing a lot over the last few weeks. “ Oprah needs to hire you!” is what I keep hearing, through phone calls and emails. From the women who have taken my 12 week course and have worked with me. That statement probably seems silly to those who don’t know me. I mean, who wouldn’t want Oprah to call? Her platform and reputation are so strong that entire careers are made simply on her recommendation or nod of approval.

I have mastered what she is still struggling with – I’m a well known expert in my field, and my unique 20-year philosophy and tools around weight loss have built a great foundation for my career all on their own. So what is it? Why does everyone want to work with Oprah? The truth is, I think it’s that mighty love that Elizabeth Alexander wrote about and shared at the inauguration. Oprah Winfrey literally casts that mighty love and widening pool of light and so do I.

We all know people like this: Those who are not only undaunted by the hardships around them, but who seem uniquely armed to rise above them. Oprah Winfrey takes it one stop further, though, and like Barack Obama, she inspires others to do so also. She inspires others to cast a widening, mighty pool of light.

Like all of us, though, ironically Oprah struggles to turn that love INWARD. Like all of us, her to do list is too long, her responsibilities too many, and like many – her love flows OUTWARD. Many days, that widening pool leaves her in a shadow. And THAT is why she – and we – do not create PERMANENT CHANGE in our lives. Be it weight – or sex – or alcohol – or even success and work – we will not create the balance we need if we do not learn to create a widening pool of light that includes US. We MUST learn to create and to maintain a lifelong self-love and self-care that WILL sustain us EVERY DAY.

So there is our challenge. And I am ready, willing and able to cast my light and empower you with my "power" tools so that you CAN take control of your life, take control of what you weigh and have a healthy relationship to food!

Yes, as President Barack Obama has embraced, we ARE ready for a change – but that change MUST come from inside each of us. I created that change in my own life, and I continue to create it every day, because self-love and self-care are an every-day journey. As dieters and Oprah Winfrey discover over and over, WITHOUT those ingredients, it’s far too easy to reclaim those pounds we let go of.

And yes, friends, I do want Oprah to hire me, not because it would “make” my career – instead, it is because MY widening pool of light has inspired hundreds and thousands of men and women. Sharing the tools that I have learned over twenty years of maintaining a 100-pound weight loss has been my mission and an enormous privilege. And my vision is for these tools to reach millions. It will happen. The world needs my work.

The magic of Oprah? Well THAT is undeniable. But it isn’t what you might think – it isn’t the making or breaking of careers. Oprah has met and affected so much change in the world, and I believe that with my tools to create PERMANENT change, the course of obesity, food addiction, and eating disorders in this country will be shifted.

To YOUR Permanent Change,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
Laura@LauraFenamore
Read all my blogs at: http://www.BodyImageMastery.blogspot.com

Oprah Carries the Message Again – MY Message

As many of you know, Oprah Winfrey recently “came clean” about her forty-pound weight gain and admitted that she was embarrassed to be two hundred pounds again. I have so many feelings about this, but the strongest of all is: camaraderie.

Our nation has now hit a point where MOST of us are overweight. Isn’t that an overwhelming thought? And even those of us who DO lose weight, like Oprah, will often “reclaim” those pounds and put them back on. So the chances are far greater that Oprah is touching a lot of hearts right now – rather than letting us down.

I would like to say that I am one of the lucky ones – losing a hundred pounds twenty years ago and still being a hundred pounds less two decades later. But it isn’t luck – and don’t think I never reclaimed a pound or two. Surely I have. But what I have been blessed to know – and what Oprah Winfrey is just discovering and proclaiming – is that PERMANENT change MUST be based and grown in self-care and self-love. There is NOTHING else that will offer you the inspiration, the tools, and the COURAGE to continue a different way of life.

Because that’s the other thing that I (and probably all of us) share with Oprah – a lot of people count on us. We have what seems like an endless list of family, friends, colleagues, and sometimes even strangers who look to us for an endless list of things. Add in the mundane reality of a job, a household, and laundry – well, it is not surprising that self-care is a SKILL that has to be taught and learned. Teaching those skills is, in fact, my life’s work.

Quite simply, weight loss means that you must put yourself FIRST on your list, and that isn’t instinctive to most of us. But by doing that, you will be empowered to do everything else, and serve everyone else, in your world.

I have some areas where I disagree with Oprah, though; for one thing, her shame. Don’t get me wrong, I understand what she means. As a body image mastery mentor, I hold the space for my clients who have shame around their weight – and what I wish FOR Oprah is that she could begin her journey of self-care and self-love RIGHT NOW – and that means loving herself 100% (no reservations) and owning that she is perfect right now, as she is. Needing to release the weight again actually makes her MORE accessible to the MILLIONS of men and women who face that same challenge over and over in life. Like I said, I often feel l was one of the lucky ones.

But you know what I know? I know that it wasn’t luck. I lost the weight, only to realize that I still hated my body. I still hated myself. I still hated my life. Can you IMAGINE how awful that was? I had been an overweight kid – then an overweight teen – then an overweight adult. I ALWAYS believed that when I lost the weight, my life would change. Newsflash! I lost the weight and then I had to CHANGE my life. So I did. That’s where the blessing was – I recognized it and started building a pathway to self-love and self-care – and I never stopped. The “luck” grew from belief, faith, trust and gratitude. Every day, I look in the mirror and say, “I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

I truly believe that if this dialogue about self-care and what it really MEANS in our day-to-day lives becomes one-tenth as pervasive as the dialogue around shame and self-loathing around weight and dieting and body image – that one-tenth discussion will change the trajectory of obesity and low body image in our nation.

We have an opportunity here to create a different kind of conversation. Will you help me? Will you sit down with your overweight friends and tell them, “I love you and think you are perfect exactly as you are.” And then just LISTEN to their responses about their body and their size. You will be amazed how much healing can occur when you listen to and love someone exactly where they’re at. I am grateful and humbled to be part of this discussion. THAT is the part that I feel luckiest about.

Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.laurafenamore.com/

3 Tips to Changing Your Mind in Order to Lose Weight and Gain Health

It feels like everywhere we look there’s another website, TV show, or life coach committed to helping others lose weight. You literally cannot turn on a news program or talk show and avoid the onslaught of weight loss experts, exercise regimens and “new” diets (can you say iVillage, O Magazine and Biggest Loser?). While the support of these programs (and the companionship and encouragement of the thousands who follow them – especially through the internet) is phenomenal – it is NOT a magic bullet for obesity, eating disorders, and food addiction.

The REASONS we overeat, undereat, or otherwise hurt ourselves with food MUST be digested as well. We need to really look at WHY we hold onto our weight and not lose it, or lose it and immediately begin a quest to FIND it again. There are some great tips out there, but if you do not CHANGE YOUR MIND, you will, at the very least, face a very tough, uphill battle.

Like other professionals in my field, there are a million tips I can share about the mechanism of losing weight, but I have to tell you that the MOST important part of my personal weight loss story came AFTER I lost 100 pounds. It began when I had to acknowledge that I was still unhappy. I had lost 100 pounds, and then had to take an honest look at how I felt – and the lack of DECISIVENESS that still existed in my life. That was where my real healing began. For many (if not most) of us, that type of deep introspection must happen sooner, in order to clear away the clutter and begin (or continue) a great weight loss effort.

The truth is that NOT making decisions is a form of fear. (And in its own way, it is a decision – it is a decision to be paralyzed and avoid risk.) Decisions are scary; it’s that simple. It means that something will change. From the big things, like new jobs and new loves, to the small things, like redecorating – decisions mean that something will change. If you’re on a journey to release excess weight, either for the first time or the hundredth, that decision needs to begin and be empowered by changing your mind.

Tip #1 You are PERFECT. So how do we begin to fade indecisiveness and CHANGE OUR MINDS? We start with one simple and enormously powerful truth: You are wonderful, right now, exactly as you are. Yes, you may be on a journey to release excess weight (along with thousands of others), but RIGHT THIS MOMENT, you are perfect. How can that be true? How can I be perfect AND need to change? Well that, Virginia, is the miracle. We ALL need to change. It is the human condition. But we are all also perfect. The universe says so. Love says so. We only need to lay doubt and fear aside and see that simple truth to be empowered forward.

Tip #2 Choose and Rechoose. If you’re ready to choose and claim that perfect you and grab the power to move forward, you have to know that it’s a “choose and rechoose” decision. Life will get in your way. It’s that simple. You must be committed to choosing to lay indecision on the side every single morning (and maybe a hundred times a day). You must remove it like an old coat. You must be committed to that ONE action to begin changing your mind.

Use this meditation whenever you need to restart your commitment: Close your eyes and see yourself. You are standing in the room you are in. You are in a heavy old wool coat. It itches your skin. It smells old. It makes you sad. It seems to grow heavier by the moment – so heavy that you know you could not go very far in this coat. You see yourself from the outside and feel that coat around you from the inside. Now slowly, gently, take off the coat. Just lay it on the floor and step away from it. Stretch your arms wide and then toward the sky. Now stand up where you are, in real life, and stretch. You are freed from indecision EVERY time you do this exercise and do ONE thing to move forward (i.e., eat an apple, take a walk, call for support – remember, everything matters – every choice, every action).

Tip #3 Make a Decision to Get (and Give) Support – NO EXCUSES! Example A) Okay, not everyone can afford a personal body image mentor – but you MIGHT be able to afford a telecourse or a group seminar offered by such an expert. Example B) Maybe you can’t afford a gym – but you can probably afford a walking or hiking club (or START one!). Example C) Maybe you can’t find an hour a day to exercise – but you CAN steal three ten or fifteen minute breaks to do squats in the ladies’ room or walk really fast around your block three times. The point is that recovery is definitely not one-size-fits-all, but there IS a perfect solution just for you – IF you will lay your fear and paralysis on the side and claim it.

So why the explosion in the weight loss arena? Because in our nation, right now, we have the highest level of overweight people in any place at any time in history. With all the abundance around us, we have made a decision (through indecision) to die. It’s that simple. To either drop dead from complications of obesity or choose to be trapped in the living death that food addiction and eating disorders cause. I do not share this with ANY judgment or arrogance. I have lived that way. And I have lived this way. Believe me, this way is better. Spend a few minutes today and just love yourself. Know that you are perfect and EMPOWERED to change. And then spend a few seconds and weigh your options.

This week, I was privileged to discuss indecision and other weight-related issues with popular coach, Sean Smith on his Empowerment Call Series. Over SIXTY people tuned in to share their questions, and their courage. It was a great conversation, and one I would love to share with you. Please email me at Laura@LauraFenamore if you would like to receive a recording of this inspirational, free discussion of WHY we DON’T prioritize ourselves and what we can do to CHANGE once and for always.

To your journey and your health!

Laura Fenamore
CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.laurafenamore.com/

Using the Law of Attraction to “Lose” Weight – The Question and the Answer

Using the Law of Attraction to “Lose” Weight – The Question and the Answer

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew about the Law of Attraction, I just didn’t know what it was called. I would have conversations with God, things would happen in my life, and I would be left saying, “Wow, that was like magic – how did that happen?” The most poignant example was in my early twenties when I began losing pound after pound. I kept putting my intention out there, and the results KEPT coming. This week, Oprah Winfrey has launched her own new intentions, beginning with her New Year TV series and articles highlighting her commitment to self-love and self-care as an answer to her weight struggle. While I’m hugely flattered that Oprah has unknowingly tapped into my personal mission and life’s work, it started me thinking. If self-love is the answer (and it is), what exactly is the question?

The Question: What do you want to attract for 2009? We are almost one week into this New Year, and no matter what we hear about the economy or the state of things around, you can’t deny the optimism and excitement in the air. It is a New Year, a new beginning, and the most important question you can ask yourself is: What do I WANT? It sounds so simple, but more of us run from this question rather than ever dare to answer it. The closest we often get is some faded, recycled New Year’s Resolution. Why? Is claiming our own power that frightening? Yes. It is.

We’ve heard a TON about the Law of Attraction over the last few years, but truly it begins (or ends) with that simple question. Only then can we see, recognize and accept what we pull toward us. Because what we focus on surely expands. Let’s apply this to the most common New Year’s resolution – to lose weight. What happens when we try to lose weight? Well, first of all, we’re focused on “losing” something. So it’s not surprising that we would, on some deep level, resist the effort from day one. When we’re losing something, we are constantly focused on a negative. When we lose something, it often means that we are either going to get it back or are trying to get it back!

In order to use the Law of Attraction, we must first answer, “What do I want?” in a way that is not a loss. We want to be healthy, perhaps even slender. We want to have more energy and stamina. We want to recognize our beauty (even though it is constantly present, we may feel disguised by excess weight and not recognize it). When THOSE things are our focus, the message we send to our psyche (and our heart) is one of self-love, rather than loss. Loss deeply implies a level of judgment, and even self-loathing, so it can’t attract healthy change.

We are magnificent, no matter what we weigh or THINK.

The beauty in our bodies is absolute and undeniable. We are living, and this life is happening this moment – and the next and the next. By focusing on the positive expressions of self-love and GROWING our strength and health, and by accepting that true self-love means courageous choices – THAT is a shift toward attraction that we can all consciously put into practice.

The Answer: Self-love equals courage. Deep inside, we all know this is true. It is why we do not CLAIM our questions. If we did, we would have to claim our answers, and this is not easy. For most of us, courage will not show up on a battlefield on some distant shore, or a burning building that we rush into to save the cat. Courage will show up in quiet, but enormously significant choices that we make every day. It will appear when we set aside forty minutes for dedicated movement out of every 24 hours we live (less than 5% of each day, by the way). When we DON’T make the time to exercise, we literally say that we are not worth 5% of our own time. But there’s no judgment here – life moves quickly, and women especially have lists inside of lists to accomplish each day. That is exactly why self-love = courage. Often, we must push something aside or say “no” in order to claim that time and our responsibility to our healthy bodies. But IF we want real change, mentally focusing on what we want to attract is only the beginning – that focus MUST be followed by our ACTIONS.

• Who do we surround ourselves with? If they are moving, chances are you will be too.


• What foods are in my house? If I haven’t got fruits and vegetables, I can’t be eating them.


• Am I reading inspirational material?


• Am I taking positive courses on body image (If you can’t afford one, go online for free materials to get started or find a great 12-step program, such as overeaters anonymous.)

And finally, NEVER underestimate the power of prayer. There is a beautiful thread that runs through you, it is the thread of love and timelessness. Grab onto that thread and know that you are a part of ALL things. Use it to pull you out of hopelessness or false resolutions, and let it, instead, tie you to your own powerful and abundant future. A future of health and confidence. Remember, with this common thread, even if you can’t do this for yourself some days, you can still do it for the person who would look to YOU for breath and inspiration. Choose to focus on what you GAIN in 2009, and simply, gently, release what you used to wish you could “lose.”

Yours in love,

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.laurafenamore.com/

Ringing in the New Year with a “New” Foundation – Self Love

Ringing in the New Year with a “New” Foundation – Self Love

As 2009 approaches us, I stand back and I count my many blessings. I especially, gratefully look at the health of my own mom. My mother is truly a miracle. She has overcome many things in this life, culminating in an aortic dissection at the beginning of 2008. (This is the same illness that ended John Ritter’s life.) And looking at my mom and her journey, I know that one of the few things we can count on in our lifetime is the unrelenting, march of time.

As we get ready to close out this year, we are invited to sit quietly and consider the year before – to reflect upon its triumphs, its joys, its sorrows and its struggles. Whatever regrets and whatever lessons you may have learned in 2008, each and every moment of it was a lesson, and if you let it be, a blessing. Our past can be what we choose. It can be wings, or it can be an unmovable weight that paralyzes us and holds us back.

By releasing 2008, we create a launching pad for everything that will come to us in 2009, and we set up a real opportunity to ring in THIS New Year with a plan for health and happiness. A plan – instead of the same old list of resolutions. So let’s take a quick minute and look at SOLUTIONS instead of re-solutions. Let’s look at the rough rocks of 2008 and turn every single one of them into the diamonds of 2009.

The #1 Resolution: Lose weight. While the number one thing on most people’s New Year’s resolution list is to lose weight, precious few of us are able to hold onto that objective for even 30 days. So what are we to do? What kind of a plan would change that goal to “gaining health” instead of losing weight? We know so much about health and weight in today’s world. In fact, we are inundated with information. So it certainly isn’t a lack of knowledge that holds us back.

Perhaps it is the simple idea of what we are “going” to do, instead of what we are DOING. What we are NOT doing is simple. We are not loving ourselves enough to eat right, exercise and set the right example for our families. We need to love ourselves so much. We need to create a deep shift to deeply love who we ARE and who we will be in the New Year. Think about that deep unconditional love you feel for your children, your significant other or a friend. And now turn that love onto yourself.

· Start each day with a commitment to yourself in service of the well being of others.

· Begin each day with a prayer and a request of the universe that you NOT FORGET that the foundation for every choice and decision is now to be on different footing – it is to be self-love.

· On a foundation built of self-love, we will choose healthy, positive people who support us.

· On a foundation of self-love, we will eat nourishing foods that energize us so that we may accept, vibrantly, all opportunities and all challenges.

· On a foundation of self-love, we will make courageous decisions that honor our deepest wishes and dreams.

And the truth is this: You can’t un-ring a bell. Once your base of self-love is proclaimed, it exists. Nothing you can do can un-create that foundation. Even a “slip” into old or unloving behavior will simply become an opportunity to release and to begin again. And be prepared, self-love becomes a beacon to those around you. It empowers us to make choices with our time and our resources in very different ways, and THAT is truly inspiring to the world at large. This year, put “Baby New Year” and all of his resolutions safely into the hands of Father Time and set the stage for your own life, renewed and reinvigorated with love at its helm.

I agree with the Beatles, wholeheartedly; they wrote and sang, “Love is all you need,” and I send you this message for this wonderful New Year, “Self-love is all you need”.

To your journey,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor

http://www.laurafenamore.com/

You’re So Skinny, I Hate You

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard the phrase, “You’re so skinny I hate you.” It’s an especially difficult phrase for me to hear, since I was once so fat that I felt nothing, if not hugely unlovable.

What does it mean when we utter that phrase to slender women – sometimes even total strangers? Does it mean we hate them? Is it supposed to be a compliment?

How could “hate” ever be a compliment?

What it really tries to impart, of course, is the idea of appreciation – wrapped up in something FAR less attractive – envy. Make no mistake, envy is NOT a compliment. It is not “appreciative.” If we take the greatest clarifying step, and apply the basic spiritual law that all things divide into either love or fear, then it is pretty easy to see that it simply isn’t love.

“You’re so skinny I hate you,” says that loud and clear.

So envy, thus, is fear. In this case, it is the fear that next to a slender woman, we simply do not measure up.

The most enlightening realization about this statement is when we open our hearts to see that the “hatred” is really directed inward – toward ourselves. It would be a far more useful discussion to say, “You’re so skinny that it makes me hate myself.”

On December 4th, Deepak Chopra posted a huge challenge to all who would listen on www.Intentblog.com. He posted an opportunity to commit to non-violence. Now, if that invitation leaves you thinking, “Sure, I won’t kick any old ladies or get into a back-alley knife fight,” then you need an education in what violence really is. What Deepak explains so beautifully is that violence toward ourselves is not okay either. Not at all. (Below is a short excerpt from the website.)

Q. What does nonviolence in thought and speech mean in everyday situations?
A. It means simply reminding yourself that you have made a commitment and that you have taken this vow. When the situation arises and your tendency is to be reactive, a simple reminder will often prevent you from generating a hostile reaction and by and by you will find yourself creating and calmer more creative response in subsequent situations.

If we commit to a truly non-violent life (or even try), we have to think about everything differently – how we eat, how we drive, what our thoughts are, and how we speak – especially to ourselves. Our language becomes SO much more honest when emotions, like envy, must be examined and omitted. And as Chopra expertly explains in this loving vow he extends to all of us, once we go to this committed place, we can never go back. It isn’t that we wouldn’t “slip” or re-engage in negative-self talk or envy, simply out of habit perhaps – but there is a simple law that things truly, inevitably, only move forward. Once the decision toward LOVE has been made, it cannot be unmade. The rest is just the journey to explore the decision, and in this case, what self-love would mean to us, body and soul.

So what are we to say, when we find ourselves standing next to a beautiful, slender woman – perhaps in what some think of as the scariest place in the world, a dressing room?

Perhaps we simply smile and say hello.

Yours in love,

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

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The 1-2-3 / ABC’s of Childhood Obesity Dissecting A Big Fat Problem

Recently, one of my clients called me -- she was hugely upset. Her eight-year-old daughter was being tested for diabetes. And while my client (and her spouse) have struggled with their weight for years, the IDEA that their little girl might be overweight AND SICK was horrifying. As I mentored her through the discussion, and helped her to see that she wasn't paralyzed -- she finally felt safe enough to admit that her daughter was twenty-three pounds overweight.

If you Google childhood obesity, you literally get 2,360,000 hits. It’s obvious that we put a huge amount of effort into looking at this issue, but how effective are we, when the numbers just go up and up, year after year? Let’s step back and dissect this issue in three very real and useful ways – the problem, the effects (bullying, self-esteem and overall health) and the solution.

#1 The Problem: Quite simply, our kids eat the wrong food and don’t move enough to use it up. When we consider everyday additives, like high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) though, they’re behind the eight ball from the beginning. HFCS not only adds an inordinate amount of calories for a product with NO nutritional upside, it also creates the phenomenon of craving – setting up even our littlest kids to binge eat. (See Childhood Obesity Basics, By Vincent Iannelli, M.D., About.com November 30, 2008)

Another part of the problem? Definitely fast food. Let’s face it, busy parents are often doing all they can to make ends meet and provide loving homes, so what harm is there if McDonald’s is the once (or twice) a week treat? Well, one problem is that we need to at LEAST stop calling it a treat. Call it a standby – call it, “uh oh, we’re in a jam,” call it fast-food Friday, but don’t call it a treat. An apple is a treat. Peanut Butter on wheat thins is a treat. Learning to re-language our discussions around food is vitally important to creating healthier families.

#2 The Effects: The sad truth is this: Our kids are getting bigger and bigger, while their self-esteem plummets. As a body image mastery mentor, I truly believe that we are all perfect and on a life journey to love ourselves from the inside out! But that journey is profoundly easier when we are HEALTHY. Imagine a child too heavy to run and play – too burdened by low self-esteem to enjoy their childhood. As any overweight adult can tell you, the heaviest burden is definitely not the pounds.

#3 The Solution: Okay, obviously the solution needs to be far more reaching than can be addressed in one article. But let’s just consider the basics – what we can implement right now.

a) MOVE. Move every single day. Move in a dedicated, disciplined way WITH your kids. The message is simple. We eat everyday and we move EVERY day. We change our clothes, we brush our teeth, we go to school, and we MOVE. And make it as fun as you can. Walk. Throw the heavy ball. Ride a bike. Dance. Even cleaning their room can be a fun exercise if you do it together (and have the added benefit of a clean room!).

b) Kick fast food to the curb. No exceptions. Instead, create alternative quick menu choices WITH your kids. A quick Google search will net you many, many healthy, kid-friendly recipes (homemade fat-free grilled cheese on whole wheat anybody?).

c) Most importantly, be sure to address your child’s weight from the outside in – AND the inside out. Weight is math. It is not a statement of value. Your kid is valuable and beautiful – those things are not up for debate. HEALTHY is your goal. From the “inside out,” be sure that there isn’t an emotional piece to your child’s weight.

Are they eating compulsively? Are they being teased?

d) Definitely ask for help on this one – their school guidance counselor might be a great place to start. There’s probably even a support group right in your area just for kids (check your local gym and hospital).

Remember, no matter what you do, the worst thing you can do is NOTHING. Our kids are our most vital natural resource, starting them out HEALTHY and FIT is the very least we can do.

Yours in Health,

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
415 464 1234

Click here for more information and to read the Surgeon General’s Call to Action regarding childhood obesity.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Fairest of Them All? 3 Steps Toward Home

When we ask that childhood question, most of us do not stand there confident that the answer will be us – if only that were so. For most of us, the mirror game actually gets harder and harder as we age. Our reflection seems to mock us at every chance, like some twisted fun-house image, making us far too aware of every pound, every wrinkle, and every gray hair. We are our own committee of critics, and if we’re not careful, the negative self-talk can be endless.

This holiday season, give yourself a gift. First of all, get honest. What do you say to yourself when you stand in front of the mirror? Give it a try. (if you are not looking into mirrors at all, it is time to start NOW)

Spend a minute there – naked if you can. Instead of doing what you may have done before – which is be heavy and critical of what you look like, stand there for thirty seconds and just appreciate your own light, and your beautiful body.

You are gorgeous. The only reason your mind tells you otherwise is because of societal standards and norms which are not based in science or truth. In order to change your external reflection, (if that is what you want to do) you must see yourself as gorgeous NOW. You have to love who we are right this moment, in order to get to where you want to be and then stay there.

Take an inventory of your thoughts as you stand there. When negative messages come up? Simply notice them and listen without fueling them with more criticism. It’s amazing how this exercise can take on a life of its own, if you do it regularly over time. Get a journal and do this for the next 30 days.

Step 1: Stand. If facing the mirror bare feels too vulnerable at first, start this process fully clothed and slowly peel away clothes as you feel more powerful in your body. It will happen. Just by facing yourself in the mirror you will begin to see how powerful it is to be in your beautiful body. Begin a mental and physical gratitude list. You are whole and alive. You can effect change right NOW.

Step 2: Listen. Next, celebrate all the great things you have to say to yourself. Write those thoughts down and any other supportive, self-loving statements that enter your mind. Practice saying those thoughts out loud. For instance, “I am healthy, my legs are muscular and strong,” or, “My eyes shine with love and compassionate, knowing I have overcome much in my life.” Try simply saying, “I love you,” to your own reflection (include your name after “I love you”.)

Step 3: Look. When you are able to stand there with your own reflection without hurtful negativity or endless reproach, then take an honest inventory. Are you tired? Do you wish you body were firmer? Are you overweight? Remember, these are not reasons to chastise yourself, but instead, opportunities to inspire healthy change. Does your posture show someone proud, or does it show someone who needs to create pride. Do you see someone who practices self-care – or do you see someone who needs to reevaluate her priorities and make more time for her body and her deep, inherent beauty?

We are in the season of light, and it is time to literally shed light on your body. Physical light, as well as lightness of heart and spirit. What we often learn in our mirror exercise is that we are heavy with burdens that go way beyond the obvious. Heavy with memories. Heavy with judgment. If we aren’t careful and aware, we can get so weighed down during this season of giving, that we forget to give to ourselves at all. What we need, right now, is to lighten our load.

If you do not like WHAT you see in the mirror, you CAN change. You can create a new routine from the inside out. A routine that begins with loving thoughts – with patience and self-care. A day-to-day effort that gives your body the right energy (food choices) and the right opportunities to USE its energy (movement). This simple equation CAN become a part of your daily life, right now. It can be YOUR holiday gift to you. In fact, if you start right this moment, what you see in the mirror may actually change by New Year’s Day. Yes, your body responds THAT quickly to healthy and self-loving inspiration on every level.

So stand, listen, look and love. After all, you’re the only YOU you’ve got!

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
Laura@LauraFenamore.com

Eat Drink and Be… A Big Fat Drunk

Although an important goal my goal in life is to avoid offending others, after I lost 100 pounds 20 plus years ago, I found a button in a novelty store in San Francisco that read, “Eat Drink and Be A Big Fat Drunk.” I wore it with pride for many years after that every holiday season.

The button cracked me up.

Mostly because it embodied humor AND a sense of personal responsibility – something that I really related to, then and now. It was also a reminder to me about where I’d come from and where I never wanted to see again.

In addition to suffering from food addiction, I had been a practicing alcoholic for many years. I began excessively drinking when I was in 7th grade. Like most addicts, I felt that alcohol freed me from my pain. For me, it did this in a way that food never could, and it empowered me to do crazy and often destructive things I never would have done otherwise.

It was also killing me in so many ways. It destroyed my self esteem, helped me hide from who I was. I was in two car accidents before I finally got sober – thankfully I survived without hurting anyone. Gratefully, all of that changed, and I was able to stop acting out with alcohol, food and other addictions – and able to lose 100 pounds through that process of healing.

The holidays are a time of year when so many of us act out with food, alcohol and other addictions, hoping to escape the pain of being with family or feeling alone (or being alone with family…take your pick.) It does not have to be that way though. And that I know for sure.
You can Eat Drink and Be Merry with moderation and learn how to deal with feelings that you want to suppress, forget or numb. Let's face it many people still choose to numb out and replace the “merry” part with big, fat, and I will add "unhappy" drunk...

You get to make different choices today. First of all, you can do whatever you want around the holidays. You do NOT have to do what others expect of you. This is your life, and your responsibilities to others simply don’t work if they’re killing you. And, quite simply, anything that isn’t building you up is definitely tearing you down.

Secondly, you have the choice to take people, places, and even the holidays themselves in SMALL doses. You can go late and leave early – thus creating a scenario where you can enjoy your Great Aunt May and your brother-in-law Barney for a few minutes, but leave when the fur starts flying. Be sure to set an exit with a few well-placed sentences to the host, “Mom, I can’t wait to see you on Thanksgiving, but remember I’ll need to leave early to meet up with my friends from work.” A great exit strategy will ultimately serve everyone.

The bottom line is this: Holidays aren’t easy. They are loaded with “fairy princess” expectations from childhood. You know, the “happily ever after” stuff that we all know doesn’t exist. We are fed visions of sugar plums and presents from early on, and we struggle year after year when that doesn’t materialize. We wonder if we’re doing it wrong. I’m here to assure you that you aren’t. Building a celebration around what works for YOU and what you need is perfectly okay and just might keep you solidly centered on what really fulfills you.

Feed your soul with people and places and things you love this season and write me and tell me how much better that feels from holidays past!

If you have questions about how to create this “personal celebration” call me at 415-464-1234.

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
415 464 1234

Thanksgiving Message - Three Simple Truths Worth Knowing

Here are three simple truths that can change your life – your body – and your health. You might think the order should be body, health and life, right? Nope. That’s why most people can’t lose weigh or then gain it back. We’ve got the order wrong. So start with these simple truths:

1. You are not a failure.
2. It is never too late.
3. You can learn to love yourself enough to change FOR GOOD.

Number 1. The most important part of my mission to empower others to create healthy bodies from the inside out is that it begins on the inside, not the outside. In order to support that this holiday, I want to tell you that you are not a failure. No matter what your weight, your body, or your body image, you are simply not a failure based on what you did or didn’t do yesterday.

Number 2. What you get, right now, is the opportunity to not fail YOURSELF today.

It is never too late. You can make ONE change today that can, like a string of dominoes, change every day that’s headed toward you. What that one change might be is huge. Will you sign up for a course to help empower you? Will you create life-changing support? Will you visit websites to create healthy meal plans for you and your family? Will you take a walk for 10 minutes? You can choose to NOT fail today. Even if it’s half over – start your day right now, right this moment because every moment is an opportunity for a new beginning.

Number 3. You can learn to love yourself enough to change – so learn this one thing, right now: Food is not love or comfort. Food can be comforting and nurturing however, it will never cure your soul sickness. It will never fill what you really need. Although it might feel that way, believe me, I know first hand, it is not true. Food is energy, and that’s it. It is a consumable fuel source that sustains our bodies. And how well the engine works depends primarily on what fuel we provide. If we shovel in sugar, they’ll still run, but wow – what a price to pay. If we offer our bodies, fruits and vegetables and healthy proteins and whole grains, well, you will FEEL the difference in only a few days – or even hours.

Number 3 Continued! While food is NOT love and comfort, mealtimes CAN be. You can create rituals of love and comfort at your meals. In fact, the word companion literally means “to break bread with.” Who do you invite to your table every day? Are you setting a beautiful table and eating lovingly prepared meals? Are you TOO BUSY to create this expression of self-love? Because this is NOT a luxury. For centuries, mealtime was a staple of healthy bodies and healthy families. We ate together. Meals were a cherished event.

So when you go to this Thanksgiving’s meal with friends and family, I wish for you one thing: to stop and look around. Do you feel the love at that meal? Is it the food, or is it the people? Is it the setting? Can you smell the LOVE? Because I’m betting you can. Now, can you allow yourself to create this, in some small way, every day? Because THAT is a 1-2-3 great start.

I am grateful for YOU in my life, and if you need a helping hand getting started or over the rough spots, give me a call at 415 464 1234.

Laura Fenamore
CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

Fat Chance – Two Tips to Navigating Tricky Holiday Horrors for Food Addicts

For some, having a happy holiday may as well be called, “fat chance.” It seems that no matter how hard we work to insulate ourselves against the issues of our childhood and the home and family who reared us, the tunnel from Thanksgiving to New Years is a mine field loaded with hidden traps, double agents and slim chance of survival without self-destructing or ripping open old wounds and old injuries.

How are we to protect ourselves from harm and mental injury? Do we amputate our past and the people in it? Are we to avoid holidays and celebrations altogether? Perhaps, but at what cost? These are your holidays, and if managed carefully, YOU can create new traditions of love and family.

You DO bring the most wonderful ingredient to that new recipe, after all. That would be YOU!

Your holiday season can look however you want it to. You can bring a healing and vibrant heart and rock solid self-love.

So what is next? And what will your roadmap look like this season of Peace and Love?

As a Body Image Mentor, if I were to offer only two tools to use to build a beautiful, magical holiday this year, they would be support and planning.

Tip #1 = Support Support, Support and more Support. Do you get the picture? Remember, you are building a new experience with the holidays – one where food will not be a double agent – appearing as comfort and haven, but underneath only offering guilt, shame, and blame.

Your new building needs strong supports. It needs a long list of like-minded travelers who will listen, laugh and help you through the rough moments. If you can literally bring one of those people with you to events and places that feel more like combat zones than “home,” that would be terrific. If that’s not possible, perhaps there’s one person at home who does support you. Let them be your oasis. Do not focus on those with whom you must "work” to earn approval or love. Stick with your support person, no matter what.

Before the holidays even begin, start to talk about your fears and your pitfalls with others who walk the same path. Finally, remember that there is an endless stream of love and a strong foundation running through our Earth, through our universe, through every cell of your body. You are a precious child of this life force, and all the support you need is present if you find yourself feeling isolated, or even abandoned, in rough enemy territory.

Tip #2 = Planning Okay, here’s where the real work starts. First of all, plan your food. PLANNING IS POWER. Call ahead, ask what will be served. Bring something you feel good about eating that is in your plan just in case nothing at the party or event works for you. You are not a victim of anything that you choose to do, or any place you choose to go. Do not put yourself at risk to binge, purge or starve. This is the most basic and self-loving action you can embrace.

Next, have an escape hatch and get-out-of-jail free card, even if it’s only for a few minutes. (A loving exit strategy is your highest goal, of course). Have a vehicle or a rescue squad at the ready. Remember, one person might let you down, but a squad, well now you’re talking!

At the very least, feel free to step away from an uncomfortable situation and call someone you feel safe talking to. Keep calling people to reach someone on the other end of the phone. People want to connect with other people and often we are helping the person we are calling just as much as they are helping us. Go to a nearby quiet café haven to retreat, if things get crazy. You can always retire to a quiet room (I have been known to hang out in bathrooms or closets, wherever I can get quiet space), and pray or read some centering affirmations or a spiritual book. Remember food for the soul is what will sustain and nurture you.

These are the basics. They are only the basics. They are the absolute minimum that all of us should consider and achieve if we plan to truly enjoy our holidays for 2008. And why not? The Earth is revolving, and we will not see these days again. By filling our two hands with these two tools, we will find ourselves empowered to keep the food in its right place. A place of healthy sustenance. To fuel us from one beautiful day to the next, creating a lifetime of holidays and celebrations strung together on the golden threads of self-love, self-care, service and camaraderie.

Here is what I want for you.

On January 1st, 2009, I want you to look back at Holiday Season 2008 and say, “This holiday season was like no other!” It was the best holiday season ever because I stood up for myself and for my needs; I followed my heart, said “no” when I needed to, and took better care of myself than ever before. I did things differently this past holiday season, and as uncomfortable as it was for me at times, I did it anyway. I enter this new year feeling freer and better about myself.

That is what I want for you.

I invite you to get started now!

In health,

Laura Fenamore, CPCCBody Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

www.BodyImageMastery.blogspot.com

What’s more painful than chronic pain? Three Simple Steps To Self-Care

What’s more painful than chronic physical pain? The pain that lives inside, that’s what. Can you imagine being 100 pounds overweight and living with all of the stares, comments and agony that goes along with that? The inability to buy a beautiful dress, or the fear that now goes with flying on an airplane? Now can you imagine losing that weight, and still coming up short? Still feeling, deep inside, that you were not good enough. Never believing, for more than a few moments at a time, that you were beautiful and valuable.

Those are the every-day feelings that attach themselves to thousands and thousands of men and women who suffer from eating disorders – even after they recover. Even after they lose the weight, the inside agony continues. We fill the overweight person with Cinderella dreams of becoming a swan, after feeling like the ugly duckling for so many years. Who remembers that television show devoted to makeovers named “The Swan.” The sad thing is that all the nose jobs, liposuction and hair weaves can’t heal a broken body image.

I know first hand being in agony both fat and thin. And I am happy to report that today I have freedom. None of these things have power over me anymore. Self criticism, the scale or food.

Body image. How we see ourselves from the inside out. The irony is that very few of us don’t have a distortion in our “internal mirror.” Like the reflections in a fun house, we’re all out of wack. Obese people often live in eternal (and deadly) denial, and perfectly healthy people harm themselves through starvation, compulsive exercise and purging. And there’s no easy fix to this. There’s no exiting the fun house with a few laughs at the experience. The ride goes on and on.

The simple truth is that getting off that wheel starts with what we eat, how we live, and how we feel. The more we can simply surrender our love affair with self-criticism, the more room we have to learn self-care and self-esteem. And learn it and learn it and learn it some more.

After a lifetime of taunts, teases and put downs from everywhere we look (the media, the magazine covers and the world at large), we now have to learn a whole new way to love ourselves no matter what. AND forgive ourselves for the hatred to begin with!

We can’t love ourselves and chastise at the same time. It’s got to be the whole shebang if we’re really going to change. And why not? Change is all around us. Our entire nation is seeking a change. Our seasons change. The world keeps revolving. And WE are allowed to change. Human beings are remarkable. We can survive. We can survive torture, trauma, decades of abuse within our childhoods and homes, and the self abuse that came from those things.

We can come out of the other side of self hatred and discover an experience as beautiful and magnificent as falling in love. We can LEARN to love our selves and our lives.

Step 1. Start your day with a prayer to remember that you are powerful and precious. On your knees, ask the power around you to remind you to love yourself today. No matter what. Let every negative comment or thought simply float away unjudged. If you want peace, you must give up the idea of conflict entirely and all the time, this is our goal.

Step 2. Take the TIME to do loving things. How do you build self esteem? You DO esteemable things. Let that materialize as loving actions toward YOU today. We’re talking the basics here. Rest, downtime, company and healthy food and movement. Those are the basics. How long since your day revolved around those things? Too long, I bet.

Step 3. Love is a two-way street. So treat yourself to time with those who LOVE YOU. Recreate your childhood (whether yours was happy or not) and run, skip, jump, climb and play with those you love deeply…and who love you.

The simple truth is that YOU have the right to be honored and comforted, fulfilled and LOVED today – from the inside and the outside. Allow this into your life today.

To your journey of self-love and self-care,
Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor

www.LauraFenamore.com

Trick or Treat

It is sadly obvious that the “economic downturn” that is leaving families homeless, jobless, and without their retirement savings is due, in a large part, to greed. If all things break down to Love or Fear, as some spiritual minds believe, then greed certainly doesn’t fall on the side of love. Greed and Fear. How quickly they spread. Like all illnesses they hit those who are the most vulnerable, those who are discouraged, stressed or run down. So self-care becomes even more vital at a time like this.

For those who are able to breath deeply and find a rhythm, no matter what is happening to them externally, each day can still be filled with gratitude, and yes, even joy.

We are like those kids at Halloween, we can run away, scared by every mask and every ghoul. We can turn off our porch lights and hide in the darkened living room, hoping no one comes to trick us. Our other choice is obvious, we can take a deep breath and remember that there are no ghouls. Masks are only illusions. We can sit on our porch and share what we have with our neighbors. We can even join in and put on our own mask if we need to. We can choose to wear a mask of joy and “act as if” to get through scary days. (Not the same as denial, of course!)

My point is that in good times or bad, you are still living this ONE day of your life. It is yours, and you can refuse to ACT on fear. We may all be afraid; we do not know how things will turn and unfold with the economy, or with anything for that matter. But how we ACT is another story.

Will we sit, in our fearful, darkened living room and EAT all the candy? (It is worth noting that eating disorders are the most common addiction worldwide, and the cause of incalculable illness and emotional agony.) Like Halloween, addiction is a mask – it is not real. It offers a false face of comfort and escape, but underneath is a jailer who will fight with everything he has to keep you imprisoned and in despair.

Each of us has our own jailer, of course. Sometimes it is tangible, like food or alcohol or drug addiction, smoking, gambling, sex. Sometimes it is intangible, and it hides behind the mask of another person or an idea, like our old friend, GREED.

It is up to each of us to rip off the mask and make peace with the charlatan. We can be HOPEFUL at this time and release the EXCESS, caused by greed or fear. It may be frightening, but it is a time of rebalance. Whether we are losing excess debt or excess weight (in whatever form), we know there is a period of adjustment and perhaps grief.

Our habits as a person and a nation are going to have to change to support the new body. The more fit body. The healthier body.

We are the most prosperous nation in the world, and that is not about money. We have freedoms that are only dreamt of by other countries and other people. We can worship. We can speak freely, in word and in print. We can elect our government. We are based, not on a cultural or genetic similarity, but on one idea: Freedom.

The point of this essay is to encourage each of us to ENCOURAGE one another toward inner peace. To claim our own freedoms right now, in this moment. Your freedom. Your right to refuse to be locked in by addiction, hopelessness, greed, fear, or negativity of ANY kind.

This is your one precious life, and perhaps the biggest “trick” of all is that you’ve had the key inside you all along.

To your self-care, Laura Fenamore
Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

A Few Great Responses on Everyday Exercise

I wanted to share my experience with you.

My story started in 2001 when I was on vacation on the beautiful island of Aruba. I was sitting at the poolside bar, enjoying a nice cocktail. While enjoying the sun and life in general, I saw a man across the pool. He must have been at least 300 if not 400 pounds and he was digging his way through a huge hamburger. I watched the scene and got filled with horror. I looked at myself and although I was nowhere near the size of the man across the pool, I had to admit I developed somewhat of a beer belly. I guess my weight must have been around 230 pounds or so. I realized it was way too much for somebody of my age, 47 at that time. The repulsive scene across the pool triggered a switch in my head. I decided I never wanted to become like that man.

But what to do? I had a busy job, with lots of international travel. Every day was packed. I was always on the road and didn’t have time for sports. I decided I had to change. Once I was back from my vacation, I started searching on internet how I could ramp up a sports schedule, without killing myself. I started finding out everything there was to know about fat burning and cardio exercises, which heart rates I had to observe and so on. The next thing I decided was that the morning would be the best time for my exercises. Around lunch or in the evenings was not going to work for me, I was always on the phone. I just set my alarm clock half an hour earlier. I designed a training schedule and began working out every day.

So, now I had designed an increase in calorie burning. What about the intake side? I don’t believe in diets. But I realized I easily could cut down on the amount of food I was eating without starving myself. I also had figured out that beer has a lot of empty calories. So I decided I was going to stop drinking beer and I switched to two glasses of red wine a day. These two things probably would make a difference, I hoped, together with the work outs.

While I was slowly increasing the intensity of the workouts, the first two months not too much happened. But then all of a sudden in month three, my body literally started reorganizing itself. After six months of exercising, I had lost no less than 40 pounds and everybody started making comments I looked so good. It was a great reward.

Still today, 7 years later, I work out every morning. I am very fit and have a better stamina than a lot of my hockey team mates. Most of whom are ten years younger than I am.

I will turn 54 this year and I weigh 185 pounds, perhaps still a little bit too heavy, but certainly in a much better shape than back in 2001 when everything started.

What did it cost me? Apart from a few workout machines I bought at home – nothing. I just made my health and my body a high priority and I had the discipline to keep it like that. I feel my day is lost if I don’t start with my workout.

Regards, Wil


Hi Laura,

Keeping active is both a priority and a challenge. You see, I work in a salon and I write for industry publications. Both of these keep me seated most of the time. As a manicurist and a writer, I have to get up and move to stay healthy, but when you are busy it is hard to do. My solution is to almost always be training for my next marathon or half marathon event. It's like an accountability partner. You can't fake training on race day! Clients are always asking about my next event (most of which I do for charity) and how training is going. No, I'm not fast, and I won't win the purse, but I do get a finishers medal and the healthy rewards that go with training for the event.

So far, I have finished 5 marathons and countless half marathons. I even had the opportunity to take my mom to Ireland to cheer for me. The best part is it doesn't take much time and only costs a pair of shoes. I run/walk several days a week for less than and hour and do one training day as a super long run/walk. Thanks for listening, and thanks for the newsletter. - Erin


I vary my exercise routine. 2 days per week I work several muscle groups with weights focusing on dumbbell exercises to build strength and muscle mass. The other days I will vary between walking on a treadmill, doing a 1 hour bootcamp or spinning class at the local YMCA to focus on cardiovascular activity. I also use the steamroom 6 days per week to sweat out the toxins and I drink about 100 ounces of water per day. Additionally, I focus on a balance of proteins with high quality carbohydrates (fruits and vegetables). I have been following this routine most of the last year and it has been tremendous as I have lost over 30 lbs and am enjoying feeling strong again. I'm 52 and going strong. My best to you! - Joe


Hi Laura, I'm thinking about a response to your question about exercise -- it's definitely a top priority for me everyday. It always has been. At least as long as I can remember. My bedroom door opened on to the swimming pool in the house where I grew up in Manhattan Beach. I rolled out of bed, opened the door and swam almost every morning...in a kidney shaped pool.....maybe that helped me adapt to open water swimming. xxo m


Hi Laura, I dance at home or walk almost every night. I am going hiking this Saturday. I try to stay active. Margo