Thanksgiving Message - Three Simple Truths Worth Knowing

Here are three simple truths that can change your life – your body – and your health. You might think the order should be body, health and life, right? Nope. That’s why most people can’t lose weigh or then gain it back. We’ve got the order wrong. So start with these simple truths:

1. You are not a failure.
2. It is never too late.
3. You can learn to love yourself enough to change FOR GOOD.

Number 1. The most important part of my mission to empower others to create healthy bodies from the inside out is that it begins on the inside, not the outside. In order to support that this holiday, I want to tell you that you are not a failure. No matter what your weight, your body, or your body image, you are simply not a failure based on what you did or didn’t do yesterday.

Number 2. What you get, right now, is the opportunity to not fail YOURSELF today.

It is never too late. You can make ONE change today that can, like a string of dominoes, change every day that’s headed toward you. What that one change might be is huge. Will you sign up for a course to help empower you? Will you create life-changing support? Will you visit websites to create healthy meal plans for you and your family? Will you take a walk for 10 minutes? You can choose to NOT fail today. Even if it’s half over – start your day right now, right this moment because every moment is an opportunity for a new beginning.

Number 3. You can learn to love yourself enough to change – so learn this one thing, right now: Food is not love or comfort. Food can be comforting and nurturing however, it will never cure your soul sickness. It will never fill what you really need. Although it might feel that way, believe me, I know first hand, it is not true. Food is energy, and that’s it. It is a consumable fuel source that sustains our bodies. And how well the engine works depends primarily on what fuel we provide. If we shovel in sugar, they’ll still run, but wow – what a price to pay. If we offer our bodies, fruits and vegetables and healthy proteins and whole grains, well, you will FEEL the difference in only a few days – or even hours.

Number 3 Continued! While food is NOT love and comfort, mealtimes CAN be. You can create rituals of love and comfort at your meals. In fact, the word companion literally means “to break bread with.” Who do you invite to your table every day? Are you setting a beautiful table and eating lovingly prepared meals? Are you TOO BUSY to create this expression of self-love? Because this is NOT a luxury. For centuries, mealtime was a staple of healthy bodies and healthy families. We ate together. Meals were a cherished event.

So when you go to this Thanksgiving’s meal with friends and family, I wish for you one thing: to stop and look around. Do you feel the love at that meal? Is it the food, or is it the people? Is it the setting? Can you smell the LOVE? Because I’m betting you can. Now, can you allow yourself to create this, in some small way, every day? Because THAT is a 1-2-3 great start.

I am grateful for YOU in my life, and if you need a helping hand getting started or over the rough spots, give me a call at 415 464 1234.

Laura Fenamore
CPCC and Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

Fat Chance – Two Tips to Navigating Tricky Holiday Horrors for Food Addicts

For some, having a happy holiday may as well be called, “fat chance.” It seems that no matter how hard we work to insulate ourselves against the issues of our childhood and the home and family who reared us, the tunnel from Thanksgiving to New Years is a mine field loaded with hidden traps, double agents and slim chance of survival without self-destructing or ripping open old wounds and old injuries.

How are we to protect ourselves from harm and mental injury? Do we amputate our past and the people in it? Are we to avoid holidays and celebrations altogether? Perhaps, but at what cost? These are your holidays, and if managed carefully, YOU can create new traditions of love and family.

You DO bring the most wonderful ingredient to that new recipe, after all. That would be YOU!

Your holiday season can look however you want it to. You can bring a healing and vibrant heart and rock solid self-love.

So what is next? And what will your roadmap look like this season of Peace and Love?

As a Body Image Mentor, if I were to offer only two tools to use to build a beautiful, magical holiday this year, they would be support and planning.

Tip #1 = Support Support, Support and more Support. Do you get the picture? Remember, you are building a new experience with the holidays – one where food will not be a double agent – appearing as comfort and haven, but underneath only offering guilt, shame, and blame.

Your new building needs strong supports. It needs a long list of like-minded travelers who will listen, laugh and help you through the rough moments. If you can literally bring one of those people with you to events and places that feel more like combat zones than “home,” that would be terrific. If that’s not possible, perhaps there’s one person at home who does support you. Let them be your oasis. Do not focus on those with whom you must "work” to earn approval or love. Stick with your support person, no matter what.

Before the holidays even begin, start to talk about your fears and your pitfalls with others who walk the same path. Finally, remember that there is an endless stream of love and a strong foundation running through our Earth, through our universe, through every cell of your body. You are a precious child of this life force, and all the support you need is present if you find yourself feeling isolated, or even abandoned, in rough enemy territory.

Tip #2 = Planning Okay, here’s where the real work starts. First of all, plan your food. PLANNING IS POWER. Call ahead, ask what will be served. Bring something you feel good about eating that is in your plan just in case nothing at the party or event works for you. You are not a victim of anything that you choose to do, or any place you choose to go. Do not put yourself at risk to binge, purge or starve. This is the most basic and self-loving action you can embrace.

Next, have an escape hatch and get-out-of-jail free card, even if it’s only for a few minutes. (A loving exit strategy is your highest goal, of course). Have a vehicle or a rescue squad at the ready. Remember, one person might let you down, but a squad, well now you’re talking!

At the very least, feel free to step away from an uncomfortable situation and call someone you feel safe talking to. Keep calling people to reach someone on the other end of the phone. People want to connect with other people and often we are helping the person we are calling just as much as they are helping us. Go to a nearby quiet café haven to retreat, if things get crazy. You can always retire to a quiet room (I have been known to hang out in bathrooms or closets, wherever I can get quiet space), and pray or read some centering affirmations or a spiritual book. Remember food for the soul is what will sustain and nurture you.

These are the basics. They are only the basics. They are the absolute minimum that all of us should consider and achieve if we plan to truly enjoy our holidays for 2008. And why not? The Earth is revolving, and we will not see these days again. By filling our two hands with these two tools, we will find ourselves empowered to keep the food in its right place. A place of healthy sustenance. To fuel us from one beautiful day to the next, creating a lifetime of holidays and celebrations strung together on the golden threads of self-love, self-care, service and camaraderie.

Here is what I want for you.

On January 1st, 2009, I want you to look back at Holiday Season 2008 and say, “This holiday season was like no other!” It was the best holiday season ever because I stood up for myself and for my needs; I followed my heart, said “no” when I needed to, and took better care of myself than ever before. I did things differently this past holiday season, and as uncomfortable as it was for me at times, I did it anyway. I enter this new year feeling freer and better about myself.

That is what I want for you.

I invite you to get started now!

In health,

Laura Fenamore, CPCCBody Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

www.BodyImageMastery.blogspot.com

What’s more painful than chronic pain? Three Simple Steps To Self-Care

What’s more painful than chronic physical pain? The pain that lives inside, that’s what. Can you imagine being 100 pounds overweight and living with all of the stares, comments and agony that goes along with that? The inability to buy a beautiful dress, or the fear that now goes with flying on an airplane? Now can you imagine losing that weight, and still coming up short? Still feeling, deep inside, that you were not good enough. Never believing, for more than a few moments at a time, that you were beautiful and valuable.

Those are the every-day feelings that attach themselves to thousands and thousands of men and women who suffer from eating disorders – even after they recover. Even after they lose the weight, the inside agony continues. We fill the overweight person with Cinderella dreams of becoming a swan, after feeling like the ugly duckling for so many years. Who remembers that television show devoted to makeovers named “The Swan.” The sad thing is that all the nose jobs, liposuction and hair weaves can’t heal a broken body image.

I know first hand being in agony both fat and thin. And I am happy to report that today I have freedom. None of these things have power over me anymore. Self criticism, the scale or food.

Body image. How we see ourselves from the inside out. The irony is that very few of us don’t have a distortion in our “internal mirror.” Like the reflections in a fun house, we’re all out of wack. Obese people often live in eternal (and deadly) denial, and perfectly healthy people harm themselves through starvation, compulsive exercise and purging. And there’s no easy fix to this. There’s no exiting the fun house with a few laughs at the experience. The ride goes on and on.

The simple truth is that getting off that wheel starts with what we eat, how we live, and how we feel. The more we can simply surrender our love affair with self-criticism, the more room we have to learn self-care and self-esteem. And learn it and learn it and learn it some more.

After a lifetime of taunts, teases and put downs from everywhere we look (the media, the magazine covers and the world at large), we now have to learn a whole new way to love ourselves no matter what. AND forgive ourselves for the hatred to begin with!

We can’t love ourselves and chastise at the same time. It’s got to be the whole shebang if we’re really going to change. And why not? Change is all around us. Our entire nation is seeking a change. Our seasons change. The world keeps revolving. And WE are allowed to change. Human beings are remarkable. We can survive. We can survive torture, trauma, decades of abuse within our childhoods and homes, and the self abuse that came from those things.

We can come out of the other side of self hatred and discover an experience as beautiful and magnificent as falling in love. We can LEARN to love our selves and our lives.

Step 1. Start your day with a prayer to remember that you are powerful and precious. On your knees, ask the power around you to remind you to love yourself today. No matter what. Let every negative comment or thought simply float away unjudged. If you want peace, you must give up the idea of conflict entirely and all the time, this is our goal.

Step 2. Take the TIME to do loving things. How do you build self esteem? You DO esteemable things. Let that materialize as loving actions toward YOU today. We’re talking the basics here. Rest, downtime, company and healthy food and movement. Those are the basics. How long since your day revolved around those things? Too long, I bet.

Step 3. Love is a two-way street. So treat yourself to time with those who LOVE YOU. Recreate your childhood (whether yours was happy or not) and run, skip, jump, climb and play with those you love deeply…and who love you.

The simple truth is that YOU have the right to be honored and comforted, fulfilled and LOVED today – from the inside and the outside. Allow this into your life today.

To your journey of self-love and self-care,
Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor

www.LauraFenamore.com

Trick or Treat

It is sadly obvious that the “economic downturn” that is leaving families homeless, jobless, and without their retirement savings is due, in a large part, to greed. If all things break down to Love or Fear, as some spiritual minds believe, then greed certainly doesn’t fall on the side of love. Greed and Fear. How quickly they spread. Like all illnesses they hit those who are the most vulnerable, those who are discouraged, stressed or run down. So self-care becomes even more vital at a time like this.

For those who are able to breath deeply and find a rhythm, no matter what is happening to them externally, each day can still be filled with gratitude, and yes, even joy.

We are like those kids at Halloween, we can run away, scared by every mask and every ghoul. We can turn off our porch lights and hide in the darkened living room, hoping no one comes to trick us. Our other choice is obvious, we can take a deep breath and remember that there are no ghouls. Masks are only illusions. We can sit on our porch and share what we have with our neighbors. We can even join in and put on our own mask if we need to. We can choose to wear a mask of joy and “act as if” to get through scary days. (Not the same as denial, of course!)

My point is that in good times or bad, you are still living this ONE day of your life. It is yours, and you can refuse to ACT on fear. We may all be afraid; we do not know how things will turn and unfold with the economy, or with anything for that matter. But how we ACT is another story.

Will we sit, in our fearful, darkened living room and EAT all the candy? (It is worth noting that eating disorders are the most common addiction worldwide, and the cause of incalculable illness and emotional agony.) Like Halloween, addiction is a mask – it is not real. It offers a false face of comfort and escape, but underneath is a jailer who will fight with everything he has to keep you imprisoned and in despair.

Each of us has our own jailer, of course. Sometimes it is tangible, like food or alcohol or drug addiction, smoking, gambling, sex. Sometimes it is intangible, and it hides behind the mask of another person or an idea, like our old friend, GREED.

It is up to each of us to rip off the mask and make peace with the charlatan. We can be HOPEFUL at this time and release the EXCESS, caused by greed or fear. It may be frightening, but it is a time of rebalance. Whether we are losing excess debt or excess weight (in whatever form), we know there is a period of adjustment and perhaps grief.

Our habits as a person and a nation are going to have to change to support the new body. The more fit body. The healthier body.

We are the most prosperous nation in the world, and that is not about money. We have freedoms that are only dreamt of by other countries and other people. We can worship. We can speak freely, in word and in print. We can elect our government. We are based, not on a cultural or genetic similarity, but on one idea: Freedom.

The point of this essay is to encourage each of us to ENCOURAGE one another toward inner peace. To claim our own freedoms right now, in this moment. Your freedom. Your right to refuse to be locked in by addiction, hopelessness, greed, fear, or negativity of ANY kind.

This is your one precious life, and perhaps the biggest “trick” of all is that you’ve had the key inside you all along.

To your self-care, Laura Fenamore
Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

How to Honor our Precious Life and Precious Body

As almost all of the world’s population knows, September 11th, 2008 marked the 7th anniversary of the fall of the Twin Towers. After many years of living in California, I happened to be home visiting my family in New York City when 9/11 happened. The shock of losing so many souls only a few miles away from where I was standing that morning took my breath away.

Seven years later, it’s still a healing in progress for many of us. Indeed, the scar that the towers falling left is only starting to heal as the foundation of the new Freedom Tower is layed out.

In 2004, when the Tsunami hit South Asia, I was in flight from Thailand to Cambodia. Thailand was one of the hardest hit nations, losing an estimated 8,000 to death and leaving 4,000 missing. The economic impact is almost incalculable with so many families losing their main income provider and so many jobs lost from the tourism industry.

Of course, Thailand was only one affected area – almost 300,000 people perished in the Tsunami, making it the largest loss of life in modern history. The coincidence of being so near two of the most awful, unforeseen events in our lifetime does not escape me.

How do we heal from life-changing events like this? I am forced to ask this question over and over. The Tsunami, the Twin Towers, Hurricane Katrina, War – so many of us have been directly affected by the disasters of this millennium. But even for those of us who have not lost loved ones or been uprooted, we stand in solidarity. We are the living legacy of souls lost and lives changed.

What does this have to do with body image and weight loss?

Everything, actually.

There are so many different interpretations of what happens when we lose someone. Where do they go? We know only one thing for sure – they are not in their bodies. That part of them has ended. Today, you and I have a privilege – we are in our bodies, we can enjoy one more day of our precious life.

In a crisis, we know what is real and we know what is not. We release our daily distractions and obsessions based on vanity and self-criticism. We are forced to live authentically and think only about the moment we are in. Today, live as if this is the last day of your life. And do that again, tomorrow and the next day…on and on.

Today, what you DOES matters.

The big stuff. The small stuff. All of it.

Your day-to-day choices matter.

You are breathing right now and that is a great starting point. The root of the word “inspire” means breath. Today, choose to be inspired and do all you can to continue to draw breath.

• I want to ask you to think before you attack yourself or attack another person.


• Move your body because you can. You are alive and you can move.


• Inspire others by being grateful rather than critical. You are alive and that is enough reason to celebrate everyday.
  

Choose to EXPIRE from nothing but old age.

You are living this one precious, precious life – right now. If you need some answers on how to make those day-to-day healthy choices become a reality in your own life, reach out to me by phone or email. I have a life-changing 12-week course that will free you from the prison of poor body image and low self-esteem and teach you to live a different kind of life. A reverent, inspiring life that makes you want to stand up and cheer.

To your health,
Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

Fate and Fitness – Three Ideas to Change Your Life

What is it that creates our life span? Is it the three Fates, as the Ancient Greeks believed? One who starts the thread of your life, one who guides it, and one who in the end cuts it off? Is it simply the will and whim of a Higher Power? Or do we have far more input in our own longevity than we dare, or care, to admit?

Although there are undoubtedly an endless array of variables that we cannot effect, like being hit by a bus or falling in the bathtub, do we take ownership of those things we can change? Do we use our power and even admit the cause and effect of our choices? When it comes down to it, we can actually choose to live longer, and the trade off is denial. We must admit where we are right now in order to be empowered to do things differently.

A recent issues of Forbes Magazine noted that there are currently 1.6 billion overweight adults in the world. Frighteningly, that number is projected to grow by 40% over the next 10 years. On the list of overweight nations, the United States is number NINE. By contrast, Japan is number 163. When we compare this scale to that of lifespan, it is no surprise that we find it inverted. At birth, a typical Japanese person can expect to live to be eighty-two years old. They are third on the list. Where do we fall, as Americans? We are number forty-five. Sadly, if you are born in the United States, with more advantages than anyone else in the world, you can expect to live a full four years less than your Japanese counterparts.

Four years. That may seem inconsequential when you consider that it is the difference between being 78 or 82 when you leave this life, but ask any person faced with terminal cancer what they would not give for four more years? There’s no guarantees for any of us, but let’s face it, what matters more, quality or quantity – and why not have both.

So what can you DO?

1. Choose life. Every single day, we are able to make choices to claim those four years, one hour at a time. To begin with we can reverse our personal spot on that obesity scale. Simply refuse to be obese, and then do whatever it takes to make that a reality. There is help everywhere if you are willing to look for it. For a nation that grows fatter every year and spends more on weight-loss than the entire nation of Haiti spends on food, this may seem impossible. But this is not a theory or a runaway train – this is YOU. It is your life span and your BMI (Body Mass Index). You are not a number, you are a person – and as a person, you are gifted with free will. Every single thing you do matters. Start with small changes and get onto a roll. Remember, each day that you choose to do the right thing, you win one more day at the end of the track.

2. Build a life worth living. In addition to making better choices, fall in love with your own life. Begin to build a life so great that you want to be here to live it. That may mean you have to make some changes now. Some days it will feel like you’ve gone ten rounds in the ring with Mohammad Ali, but you cannot give up. There isn’t another body to crawl into when you’re finished with this one. Treating this body with self-love and gratitude is non-negotiable if you’re going to earn those extra days. And you’ll need them, a life worth living is one you won’t want to miss for a moment.

3. Fall in love with YOU. You are unique, in all of space and time there cannot be another you. Get to know your own deepest dreams and wishes, and honor them. Even if you cannot create them, you can love the dream itself. And who knows, if you make the right choices enough of the time, and you earn those extra four years, who knows what you might be able to accomplish? Pablo Picasso was 91 years old when he died. So paint the town red and strive to live inside your body and be around to love YOU as long as possible!

To your health, Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com
Laura@LauraFenamore.com

Eating Myself Alive – The “Fat Princess”

There is a particular brand of humor out there where the comedian routinely makes themselves the brunt of every joke. Many of those jokes tend to be about weight, body image, and in general, self-depreciation. The reason that we can all sit anonymously in the audience and laugh at these “put-downs” is that we can usually be fully confident that the star on the stage likes themselves. They somehow embody an air of, “The joke’s really on you, because I’m awesome.” Or at least, “If you don’t like it, lump it.” We never have to stop when listening to Roseanne Barr or Drew Carey and wonder if all the “fat talk” is hurting their feelings. Somehow we KNOW that they KNOW we love them – every single ounce.

But what happens when we touch upon the average person, one who has not been seasoned by life yet. One who hasn’t had a chance to build the needed armor to love themselves in a world that obviously feels it is just fine to be prejudiced against the fat kid on the playground. Case in point? Fat Princess.

Briefly, Fat Princess is Sony's upcoming video game. It debuted at the recent E3 expo to much clamor and a web of criticism from feminists and non-feminists alike. Basically, the colorful Fat Princess is capture-the-flag with a twist – you thwart her capture from the “bad guy” by locking the once-thin princess in a dungeon and stuffing her full of cake so they literally can’t haul her big butt back to home base.

Fun? Funny? Unlike Drew Carey, the joke is on us. As a society, we decry segregation and prejudice in every way, and then we allow something like Fat Princess to be bought and sold with aplomb. And don’t kid yourself, the princess isn’t 35, she’s a kid. At most, she’s a teen. At a time in their lives when our daughters body’s are changing as fast as their hairstyles and what they need more than anything is reassurance and messages about healthy bodies, we are again allowing society to force feed them yet another message about FAT. And for good measure, this one is all tied up in a story about marriage and relationships.

If she’s fat enough, Fat Princess can remain … what? A virgin? Unclaimed? Unmarried? Ask any professional, and one of the tenets of most eating disorders is hiding from one’s own sexual development. Too fat and you’re safe from sexual overtures, thin enough and you’re so childlike you’re safe as well.

While allowing open dialogues around childhood obesity and healthy approaches to healthy bodies is vital to our recovery as a society, pretending that diminishing our young women is fun and games is beyond absurd.

Do yourself and future generations a big favor. For one week note how you speak about your body in front of your kids – and all the kids in your life. Are the words coming from your mouth self-loving? Or are they self-loathing? Don’t kid yourself; what you say matters. You ARE having an impact, one way or the other. This is not to shame or wrong you. Like all of us, you probably do enough of that without anyone’s help. But it is meant to open your eyes in order to live a new way.

I have no doubt that we, empowered women, are all about creating a legacy of empowered women. Creating an entire generation of self-hating adolescents is both insane and self-destructive. Let’s not feed our girls any more ideas about princesses at all – let’s fill their mouths with powerful, self-loving words about being QUEENS. Queens have power and queens rule their kingdom. Settling for anything less is just a royal flush.

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YOU CAN create REAL transformation in your life and your family.

I am about to launch my third session of my 12-week course, which begins in September. Like sessions one and two, this course will help you create REAL, valuable, and permanent change in your life. It is called: Loving What You See in the Mirror (Crucial Components to Permanent Weight Loss).

I am currently interviewing potential participants to fill the remaining spots for this course, and I welcome you to call me at 415-464-1234 to discuss your weight-loss experiences and goals. I've been there, and my course has grown out of many years and experiences helping others to find their own freedom from binging, compulsive eating, yo-yo dieting, eating disorders, anorexia, etc. You can click here to visit my website to see my story.

The two groups I currently lead are spectacular. The women are dynamic and wonderful. They are calling forth permanent change, they are committed to their accountability partners, and they are embracing their own transformation.

There is still room remaining, so encourage your friends and loved ones to reach out for a phone interview to decide if they would be an ideal candidate for this life-changing program. 415.464.1234


By, Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Master Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

Turning the Black Hole of Poor Body Image Toward the Sunshine of Self-Love

Facts or fiction? These points should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where you can read them every day. The friend who passed them on to me claimed that they are 100% true.

1) There are at least 2 people in this world that you would die for.

2) At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3) The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4) A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.

5) Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6) You mean the world to at least 3 other people.

7) Someone that you don’t even know exists, trusts you.

8) When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

9) When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look because what you see may surprise you.

Great personal friends and business colleagues are like stars … you don’t always see them, but you know they are always there shining on you and supporting all you do.

Points like this remind us that we are ALL valued by the universe and by those around us. Sometimes low self-esteem and poor body image can block that love like a lunar eclipse, leaving us in darkness. Knowing there’s a light out there – we can still see it outlined no matter how hard we try to deny it.

Today, counter every negative thought you have by filling in the “blanks” above with WHO and WHAT the above sentences refer to. For instance, WHAT good came out of your biggest mistakes so far (Number 8), or start listing the 15 people who love you in some way (Number 2).

And if you can’t get past low self-esteem or poor body image to even begin to fill in those “blanks,” reach out to me for a helping hand. Fifteen minutes of encouragement and guidance could make all the difference in your life to create self-love and self-care.

To your joyous life, free from the prison of limiting beliefs,

Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com


PS: For more inspirational reading material, you can check out blogs by my colleague, Alex Mandossian, http://www.alexmandossian.com/ and for an awesome video, check out: http://www.alexmandossian.com/2008/06/08/the-farmer-and-the-donkey-parable/.